Ratchet Vagina at 4am

I attempted to direct this blog on how SOME women should carry around baby or wet wipes, but I think I will just accept this "L." I'm not sure if this what Juicy J meant, but I think I've found the ratchet vagina.

You ever wanted something so bad, but when you finally get it just leaves you disgusted. I probably should have never answered that 4am text, but I did and I regret it. I think the most high was setting up a testimony for me in the form of a foul smelling vaginal experience.'

I had my usual two Gin & Juices, and shot of patron so I'm feeling myself a little bit, and she comes over here completely gone. So like a typical woman who texts at 4am she's on that "I'm just trying to sleep non-sense." After rubbing on that inner thigh she miraculously proceeds to undress herself. It gets to to the point where her I'm pulling her panties off and it hits mean, I mean it punches me with a haymaker. I mean this was the most foulest, disgusting, unpalatable smell that I've ever encountered on a woman.

It had me feeling some kind of way, shit had me feeling disrespected in my own house. Like I'm unsure how a woman doesn't know whether her box is in order or not. What tripped me was her hinting at me about going face down, like these lips of clay aren't selective. Most men probably have been in this situation, and we all know our options.

We can either hold our breath and go face down, put that rubber on, or pretend like you're having a erectile dysfunction.

Needless to say, I had an erectile dysfunction, but being the good guy that I am I didn't have her drive home, but my ass was staying that room, I slept on my couch and had my alarm clock go off at 8:30 so she knew she had to go. I basically lied and said I had to work.

I don't know if the smell embedded itself on me, or the memory had me feeling like the smell was surrounded by me. I took like 4 showers within an hour before leaving for church. After getting back those sheets she laid on went through two washes because of that woman. I would never wish that experience on anyone, but I know most of us have went through it, but I'm just here to tell y'all my story.

Don't look down on my poor judgement, but just pray I never encounter that foul smelling vaginal experience again.