Nigga is one of those words that are always at the forefront of controversy when it pertains to internal and external race relations. I choose not to focus on external because the argument is never ending and frankly exhausting.
Their always has been blacks who argue that it is a term of endearment and can be use among one another, while others refuse to use the word citing its oppressive history. Many label who use the word freely as ignorant. Are we saying that they are ignorant of not knowing the word “niggas” rooted history? If that’s the case the word derives from the old English word “neger” which derived itself from the Spanish word “Negro” meaning black. We forget about the original connotations and just focus on the negative vulgar history of said words. Just like times, attitudes, and outlooks change so do words.
It seems that it has become a standard not only for older blacks, but these new upper middle class blacks to refrain from it because it’s “ignorant.” People say that we are ignoring 400 plus years of history, when we are not. Blacks have history of taking substandard things cultivating, refining, and popularizing them, and also making them superior. We went from a period where we were not wanted at most Ivy League schools then we created our own (HBCU’S). We created schools that weren’t downgraded schools, but ones that accepted some of the preeminent articulate, intellectual, and eloquent thinkers. They not only went on to be great and do exceptional things, but they showed they could play on a level playing field as Ivy Leaguers. Not mention blacks such as Cornel West, Marc Lamont Hill, Hill Harper, Rashida Jones and etc. graduated from traditional ivy league institutions when given opportunity. Let’s not forget blacks getting left over food and scraps and putting souls in those meals. So do we not eat these foods anymore because now whites have allowed us to shop at the same grocery stores at them? From education, to food, sports, and multitude of others things that we were discriminate against we decide to focus on a word.
By us not saying “nigga” to one another does what? It doesn’t focus in on the mass incarceration rate for blacks when it comes to non violent drug offense. It’s not focusing on the amount of black wealth that has been lost over the past 20 years. Does eliminating the word “nigga” put needed funds in the inner city school system? You not saying “nigga” don’t make you any more or equally conscious than the black man down the street who doesn’t eat pork. Why are we as a people so disconcert with each other using that word to each other. People always argue that whites can now feel justified saying it. Whites run this country and business in this country, I’m sure they can understand why blacks don’t want them saying it. We don’t have to infantile them by eliminating it from us.
This is not an argument for the continuing of blacks to use a derogatory word that is associated with blood from people being lynched, blacks being denied the right to vote, denied the right to read, or have a family structure. It’s about us focusing on a word that we feel tears us apart, but in reality it doesn’t. Why are we focused on a word used amongst us, when it’s other problems (like the above mentioned) keeping the collective community down and out.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
10 Ways to Determine If She's Bougie
Bougie isn't anything bad, we have just given it a negative connotation, bougie is good. I love bougie women (with a small sprinkle of ratchetness). Bougie derives from the term bourgeoise, Karl Marx coined the term in the Communist Manifesto, but this isn't an history nor a economic lesson, but I want to share 10 ways to identify if she's truly bougie.
1. Take her to a steak restaurant. Pay attention to what she orders and how she gets it cooked. For example if she orders a filet mignon it should be cooked medium rare, anything more will take away its tenderness. Bougie women know this.
2. She's bougie if she has different scents for particular moods or for different events. She has her happy scents, casual work scents, outdoor activity scents, I don't want to be bothered scents, and event scents.
3. She's bougie if she never refers to herself as going to events, but as her making appearances.
4. A true bougie woman has mastered the art of wearing 3-4 different colors at the same time when it comes to her outfits. A bougie woman is immaculate when it's comes to picking out colors that flourish together.
5. A true bougie woman never wears heels less than 4 inches high.
6. A bougie woman knows that fish dishes and cheeses need to be paired with a white wine. If paired with a red wine it can give off a metallic type taste due to tannins that they normally contain. A general rule she follows is white wine with white meat, and red wine with red meat.
7. A true bougie woman only buys bottles in the club when it's a celebration, never for a show.
8. A bougie woman appreciates a tailored suit. She can tell when a suits been tailored to fit the person wearing it and a suit that hasn't.
9. She knows that at restaurants when they give you napkins that they aren't suppose to be tucked in your shirt, but laid on your lap.
10. Bougie women don't introduce themselves to people by the things they've done or how much something cost because a true bougie woman needs no introduction.
This is only entertainment.
1. Take her to a steak restaurant. Pay attention to what she orders and how she gets it cooked. For example if she orders a filet mignon it should be cooked medium rare, anything more will take away its tenderness. Bougie women know this.
2. She's bougie if she has different scents for particular moods or for different events. She has her happy scents, casual work scents, outdoor activity scents, I don't want to be bothered scents, and event scents.
3. She's bougie if she never refers to herself as going to events, but as her making appearances.
4. A true bougie woman has mastered the art of wearing 3-4 different colors at the same time when it comes to her outfits. A bougie woman is immaculate when it's comes to picking out colors that flourish together.
5. A true bougie woman never wears heels less than 4 inches high.
6. A bougie woman knows that fish dishes and cheeses need to be paired with a white wine. If paired with a red wine it can give off a metallic type taste due to tannins that they normally contain. A general rule she follows is white wine with white meat, and red wine with red meat.
7. A true bougie woman only buys bottles in the club when it's a celebration, never for a show.
8. A bougie woman appreciates a tailored suit. She can tell when a suits been tailored to fit the person wearing it and a suit that hasn't.
9. She knows that at restaurants when they give you napkins that they aren't suppose to be tucked in your shirt, but laid on your lap.
10. Bougie women don't introduce themselves to people by the things they've done or how much something cost because a true bougie woman needs no introduction.
This is only entertainment.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
That Nigga Shit
Nigga shit! What exactly is it? Nigga shit are things that the average person doesn't do, but it happens more than on a rare occurrence, but it happens. I defend black people on so many things, but it's some things I just can't comprehend.
So I'm downtown having a conversation about how uninformed some of our people are. I'm explaining that that in this society we have more access to a Trinidad James video than a W.E.B. Dubois book. I was telling my friend that I feel many would like to do better, but they may not know where to start. As I'm saying this I see a woman getting her car towed.
She parked directly in front of the club, she's downtown, plus she has no plates or in-transits. Of course she runs out like a chicken with its head cut off (see what I did there?). I understand the guy who used to sell those in-transit tags is down and out, but why are you in the club if you can't afford plates? That's that nigga shit! I understand its rough out here, but if you can afford your sew-ins, nails to be done, and a fresh club fit, but no plates then you need to stay your ass at home and get your priorities in line.
A couple months back, "I'm on Instagram straight flexing," and I'm in the news feed and I see someone I follow liking a slew of this celebs offsprings old photos. I kid you not, but 15 minutes later someone creates a pic-frame of the same photos with a caption perpetrating the thought to their followers that they purchased those items. Now that's some nigga shit! Who are you trying to impress? What's the point in having friends if they are all on the payroll? Why are you looking for acceptance from people whose main concern is what you have, or what you can do for them? Black America has this mindset that we need to show them white folks that we're on their ass, but if your a Jenkins struggling trying to keep up with the Vanderbilt's you're still looked at as a nigga in a Gucci belt, or a Benz coup.
We need to get off that bullshit as a collective whole and get off this nigga shit. Why do we have the latest phone when it drops, but no working computer in our homes? You shouldn't be in lines for shoe releases every month, but your only Internet access comes from your data plan on your phone. I'm fully aware that other races do it too, but it hurts more when my people do stupid shit like that because I every time I see a person of color I see myself in them and that shit is disheartening.
I'll never attempt at trying to mimic Bill Cosby, but aside from institutionalize forces holding us back sometimes we have to take that initiative to do better. If they aren't giving us access directly to a "W.E.B. Dubois book" then we must get off our ass walk to that library and exercise "Our Right to Read."
We must get off that we may be poor, but we aren't going to look it nonsense. We can't pray for better days, we have to work hard for them. I know it's been over 400 years and the struggle still affects us, but tough times don't last, tough people do. If you, or I have to die in the process trying to see US prosper then so be it. We Gon' Make It!
So I'm downtown having a conversation about how uninformed some of our people are. I'm explaining that that in this society we have more access to a Trinidad James video than a W.E.B. Dubois book. I was telling my friend that I feel many would like to do better, but they may not know where to start. As I'm saying this I see a woman getting her car towed.
She parked directly in front of the club, she's downtown, plus she has no plates or in-transits. Of course she runs out like a chicken with its head cut off (see what I did there?). I understand the guy who used to sell those in-transit tags is down and out, but why are you in the club if you can't afford plates? That's that nigga shit! I understand its rough out here, but if you can afford your sew-ins, nails to be done, and a fresh club fit, but no plates then you need to stay your ass at home and get your priorities in line.
A couple months back, "I'm on Instagram straight flexing," and I'm in the news feed and I see someone I follow liking a slew of this celebs offsprings old photos. I kid you not, but 15 minutes later someone creates a pic-frame of the same photos with a caption perpetrating the thought to their followers that they purchased those items. Now that's some nigga shit! Who are you trying to impress? What's the point in having friends if they are all on the payroll? Why are you looking for acceptance from people whose main concern is what you have, or what you can do for them? Black America has this mindset that we need to show them white folks that we're on their ass, but if your a Jenkins struggling trying to keep up with the Vanderbilt's you're still looked at as a nigga in a Gucci belt, or a Benz coup.
We need to get off that bullshit as a collective whole and get off this nigga shit. Why do we have the latest phone when it drops, but no working computer in our homes? You shouldn't be in lines for shoe releases every month, but your only Internet access comes from your data plan on your phone. I'm fully aware that other races do it too, but it hurts more when my people do stupid shit like that because I every time I see a person of color I see myself in them and that shit is disheartening.
I'll never attempt at trying to mimic Bill Cosby, but aside from institutionalize forces holding us back sometimes we have to take that initiative to do better. If they aren't giving us access directly to a "W.E.B. Dubois book" then we must get off our ass walk to that library and exercise "Our Right to Read."
We must get off that we may be poor, but we aren't going to look it nonsense. We can't pray for better days, we have to work hard for them. I know it's been over 400 years and the struggle still affects us, but tough times don't last, tough people do. If you, or I have to die in the process trying to see US prosper then so be it. We Gon' Make It!
Monday, November 19, 2012
Do We Care Anymore?
As an offspring of the crack epidemic and Reganomics my generation as whole has become accustomed to things that normally would spark public outrage within our community back when we had leaders at the forefront. We had leaders who made it a number one concern to fight for the elimination of social justices in America. Where’s the next Malcolm X, Martin, Huey, or Bobby at?
Of course we have the Dyson’s, West’s, Hills, Michaëlle Jean’s, Cathy Hughe’s, Ayanna Pressley’s & many more, but whose really listening outside of the academic world to these people? More of today’s youth are on Twitter following people (ideas) that critiquing “faggot” tendencies on whether you eat off paper plates or not. It seems that we are living in the “I don’t care as long I can’t see it directly affecting me” generation. Maybe it’s due to this new generation of youth not having memories of segregated schools, crosses burnings, and Jim Crow Laws.
It feels as though a different Rodney King is broadcast on World Star and then we forget about him the next day and draw our attention to bus drivers performing Mortal Kombat finishing moves on passengers. Why do issues of police brutality in this day and age get dismissed, but violence amongst us goes on for weeks and used as comedic relief? Have we become so numb to this type of violence from high authority figures that we ignore it, or do we simply not care? Maybe we (as a collective whole) don’t know enough to be angry, because we live in the “it’s not me” generation. I’m not saying lets repeat the L.A. riots, but where is that passive aggression when needed, like Pac stated back on his first album, “When I get my check they taking tax out, so, we paying for these pigs to knock the blacks out. Ain't that a bitch?”
Even when we get those cases like the Trayvon Martin incident we put on our biggest MLK costume for about a week, put those hoodies on, eat skittles then we forget about it once George Zimmerman is placed in jail. On June 10th we will be back to caring again. We will have our Arizona Ice teas, skittles, and our favorite hoodie ready. We will fight the power for a couple weeks out the year to get a few *likes*, *retweets*, and comments, but we’ll be back to not caring and having a blind eye to all the injustices that go on in our communities on the daily. It was a time where these young thugs wouldn’t dare sell drugs to the youth, rape, and beat on women because the old heads that are currently strung out on drugs or incarcerated would have been on their necks. We will turn our backs to the black genocide that goes on in our own yards and justify it by a Jay-Z line, “I was born in a city where the skinny niggas die.” We have gotten to the point where people with the epistemological ideologies that George Zimmerman possesses are assuming that African American equals criminal. We have gotten to the point where people associate black to bad, evil, sinister, and menacing. I feel as though white supremacy still exists within factions of the United States, but the new alarming epidemic that is being taught is fear. Fear can be very dangerous especially when it is embedded in people who have power over the victims that one has fear over. I ask again, “Do we not care how we are perceived?” They see us on the news daily murdering each other, so they in turn feel justified for killing us out of the fear. Trayvon Martin is not here, but justice can still be served, but what about Justin Sipp, Kendrec Mcdade, Tendai Nhekairo, Rekia Boyd, and many more? Do we not care, or are they just the forgotten?
Have you we’ve been raised in a generation where issues like this are looked as taboo for us to get involved in? Is fighting from for freedom from these issues played out? Are blacks being expected to just get degrees, married, and move away and turn a blind eye? It seems as though unity has left us and we refuse to get involved in causes that aren’t ours directly. Are we too concerned about not upsetting other groups of people for fighting equality? The type of equality where we are not judged for wearing hoodies, jeans, and Jay’s in public. So can this be looked at catering to white privilege, but what do we do when that black guilt kicks in? Oh yea, since we don’t care the guilt doesn’t exist. We just pop a molly, take patron shots, and disregard the ignorance as our people continue to lag behind and die, buts since it’s not us we aren’t supposed to care, right?
Of course we have the Dyson’s, West’s, Hills, Michaëlle Jean’s, Cathy Hughe’s, Ayanna Pressley’s & many more, but whose really listening outside of the academic world to these people? More of today’s youth are on Twitter following people (ideas) that critiquing “faggot” tendencies on whether you eat off paper plates or not. It seems that we are living in the “I don’t care as long I can’t see it directly affecting me” generation. Maybe it’s due to this new generation of youth not having memories of segregated schools, crosses burnings, and Jim Crow Laws.
It feels as though a different Rodney King is broadcast on World Star and then we forget about him the next day and draw our attention to bus drivers performing Mortal Kombat finishing moves on passengers. Why do issues of police brutality in this day and age get dismissed, but violence amongst us goes on for weeks and used as comedic relief? Have we become so numb to this type of violence from high authority figures that we ignore it, or do we simply not care? Maybe we (as a collective whole) don’t know enough to be angry, because we live in the “it’s not me” generation. I’m not saying lets repeat the L.A. riots, but where is that passive aggression when needed, like Pac stated back on his first album, “When I get my check they taking tax out, so, we paying for these pigs to knock the blacks out. Ain't that a bitch?”
Even when we get those cases like the Trayvon Martin incident we put on our biggest MLK costume for about a week, put those hoodies on, eat skittles then we forget about it once George Zimmerman is placed in jail. On June 10th we will be back to caring again. We will have our Arizona Ice teas, skittles, and our favorite hoodie ready. We will fight the power for a couple weeks out the year to get a few *likes*, *retweets*, and comments, but we’ll be back to not caring and having a blind eye to all the injustices that go on in our communities on the daily. It was a time where these young thugs wouldn’t dare sell drugs to the youth, rape, and beat on women because the old heads that are currently strung out on drugs or incarcerated would have been on their necks. We will turn our backs to the black genocide that goes on in our own yards and justify it by a Jay-Z line, “I was born in a city where the skinny niggas die.” We have gotten to the point where people with the epistemological ideologies that George Zimmerman possesses are assuming that African American equals criminal. We have gotten to the point where people associate black to bad, evil, sinister, and menacing. I feel as though white supremacy still exists within factions of the United States, but the new alarming epidemic that is being taught is fear. Fear can be very dangerous especially when it is embedded in people who have power over the victims that one has fear over. I ask again, “Do we not care how we are perceived?” They see us on the news daily murdering each other, so they in turn feel justified for killing us out of the fear. Trayvon Martin is not here, but justice can still be served, but what about Justin Sipp, Kendrec Mcdade, Tendai Nhekairo, Rekia Boyd, and many more? Do we not care, or are they just the forgotten?
Have you we’ve been raised in a generation where issues like this are looked as taboo for us to get involved in? Is fighting from for freedom from these issues played out? Are blacks being expected to just get degrees, married, and move away and turn a blind eye? It seems as though unity has left us and we refuse to get involved in causes that aren’t ours directly. Are we too concerned about not upsetting other groups of people for fighting equality? The type of equality where we are not judged for wearing hoodies, jeans, and Jay’s in public. So can this be looked at catering to white privilege, but what do we do when that black guilt kicks in? Oh yea, since we don’t care the guilt doesn’t exist. We just pop a molly, take patron shots, and disregard the ignorance as our people continue to lag behind and die, buts since it’s not us we aren’t supposed to care, right?
Friday, November 16, 2012
Liquor & Church
Have you ever wondered why you don’t see abortion clinics next to Catholic church’s, or a pig slaughter house near an Islamic mosque? Liquor stores seem as they are synonymous with churches in poverty stricken and lower income communities.
Since we live in a capitalist society, and a government that claims to separate church from state then of course a liquor store has every right to be placed within proximity to any place of worship, wealthy community, or those on the cliff of poverty. Now do a quick field study on your way to a white church and a black church. How many liquor stores do you pass before you pull in your traditional (non mega-church) black church parking lot, now think about how many liquor stores you’ll find on your way to a predominantly white church? According to the US Census Bureau blacks on average spend .66% of their income on alcoholic beverages compared to whites who spend .86 of theirs on alcoholic beverages, so why such the discrepancy in liquor store placement? Why do we have this correlation between God and alcohol?
Is it because in the “hood,” church and liquor are usually associated with those who have lost hope and looking for anything that can temporarily mask their pain, despair, and worries? We always hear that whenever you’re going through adversity that God is the only one strong enough, and weathered enough to turn a mess into a message, turmoil into a testimony, and trials into a triumph, but how many times do we turn from those sitting on those corners in front of liquor stores attributing their wino behavior to simply being their fault? How many times do Pastors travel to those holding that 40oz and offer to open the doors of the church? Majority of the time those people's problems are deeper than the last drop at the end of their bottle.
Circumstances like this where individuals can see a direct correlation between the number of liquor stores and churches should induce church leaders to bring their ministry from outside the confines of the church and minister to the streets and help save souls and help carry out the mission of the God they serve. Lately church has taken on many roles such as fashion show, political campaign site, music ministry, but has taken a step back in saving and ministering to souls outsides of the walls. Have we as Christians forgot what God has placed us on this earth for?
Too many times we go to the altar and just pray for the less fortunate. Prayer does change, but alone it does nothing, unless action is accompanied by it. As children of God first, Christians second, and members of the church third we need to take immediate action and help those on the curb of the liquor store looking at the Church.
Since we live in a capitalist society, and a government that claims to separate church from state then of course a liquor store has every right to be placed within proximity to any place of worship, wealthy community, or those on the cliff of poverty. Now do a quick field study on your way to a white church and a black church. How many liquor stores do you pass before you pull in your traditional (non mega-church) black church parking lot, now think about how many liquor stores you’ll find on your way to a predominantly white church? According to the US Census Bureau blacks on average spend .66% of their income on alcoholic beverages compared to whites who spend .86 of theirs on alcoholic beverages, so why such the discrepancy in liquor store placement? Why do we have this correlation between God and alcohol?
Is it because in the “hood,” church and liquor are usually associated with those who have lost hope and looking for anything that can temporarily mask their pain, despair, and worries? We always hear that whenever you’re going through adversity that God is the only one strong enough, and weathered enough to turn a mess into a message, turmoil into a testimony, and trials into a triumph, but how many times do we turn from those sitting on those corners in front of liquor stores attributing their wino behavior to simply being their fault? How many times do Pastors travel to those holding that 40oz and offer to open the doors of the church? Majority of the time those people's problems are deeper than the last drop at the end of their bottle.
Circumstances like this where individuals can see a direct correlation between the number of liquor stores and churches should induce church leaders to bring their ministry from outside the confines of the church and minister to the streets and help save souls and help carry out the mission of the God they serve. Lately church has taken on many roles such as fashion show, political campaign site, music ministry, but has taken a step back in saving and ministering to souls outsides of the walls. Have we as Christians forgot what God has placed us on this earth for?
Too many times we go to the altar and just pray for the less fortunate. Prayer does change, but alone it does nothing, unless action is accompanied by it. As children of God first, Christians second, and members of the church third we need to take immediate action and help those on the curb of the liquor store looking at the Church.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Had Plenty Money But Never Paid Tithes
As I sit in the back of the church the preacher is preparing the congregation for offering time. He preaches from Proverbs 3:9
"Honor the LORD with thy substance, and with the first-fruits of all thy increase"
Then he proceeds to go on this tangent on how he couldn't imagine giving Cox cable more than he gives The Lord. The pastor always stresses on giving 10% of your gross income before taxes and it seems like every other month he talks about "it's tithe month" and he wants us to give deeper from our heart. I'm thinking in the back of my head like, "negro please"
This is a black church, of course their are plenty of well off individuals in this one in particular, but it's a lot of poverty stricken people in here too. Maybe I'm too socially conscious, but expecting people who barley get by to give 10% and extra is ludicrous. I remember seeing some lady giving two dollars, she seemed embarrassed when she noticed that I saw her offering envelope. I tell her, "as long as GOD know where your heart at you good."
I don't pay tithes mainly because I feel I can do more in my community with my dollars. I feel as though churches are operated on good principles, but they only concentrate on providing hope & prayer during someone's moment of despair. I feel by me giving out a few coats, clothes, shoes, supplies, etc is more in line of with the type of work has plan for my 10% and beyond of the heart offerings. I'm fully aware that the church has bills, but it seems as though preachers now-a-days are in it for ulterior motivates. It seems as though many switch churches for more pay just like professional athletes. I'm not saying boycott the offering plate, but think rationally before you do.
Before you let go of 10% of your gross income ask yourself, "Will GOD disown me and deny me at the pearly gates if I can't?" The bible was written about 5,000 years ago, right? I think times have changes and portions of the word have become outdated. The economical disproportionate among members of society is asininely extreme in this day and age. Also the percentage that blacks especially have to spend on food, transportation, housing, and necessary home care products are a higher portion of their income than of any other group. By some (not all) preachers using biblical propaganda to derive funds from members of the church who can't afford is causing more harm for their household than good for these leaders churches.
Pay your tithes, but be fiscally responsible. GOD will understand, I'm sure of it, me & him are kind of like best friends.
"Honor the LORD with thy substance, and with the first-fruits of all thy increase"
Then he proceeds to go on this tangent on how he couldn't imagine giving Cox cable more than he gives The Lord. The pastor always stresses on giving 10% of your gross income before taxes and it seems like every other month he talks about "it's tithe month" and he wants us to give deeper from our heart. I'm thinking in the back of my head like, "negro please"
This is a black church, of course their are plenty of well off individuals in this one in particular, but it's a lot of poverty stricken people in here too. Maybe I'm too socially conscious, but expecting people who barley get by to give 10% and extra is ludicrous. I remember seeing some lady giving two dollars, she seemed embarrassed when she noticed that I saw her offering envelope. I tell her, "as long as GOD know where your heart at you good."
I don't pay tithes mainly because I feel I can do more in my community with my dollars. I feel as though churches are operated on good principles, but they only concentrate on providing hope & prayer during someone's moment of despair. I feel by me giving out a few coats, clothes, shoes, supplies, etc is more in line of with the type of work has plan for my 10% and beyond of the heart offerings. I'm fully aware that the church has bills, but it seems as though preachers now-a-days are in it for ulterior motivates. It seems as though many switch churches for more pay just like professional athletes. I'm not saying boycott the offering plate, but think rationally before you do.
Before you let go of 10% of your gross income ask yourself, "Will GOD disown me and deny me at the pearly gates if I can't?" The bible was written about 5,000 years ago, right? I think times have changes and portions of the word have become outdated. The economical disproportionate among members of society is asininely extreme in this day and age. Also the percentage that blacks especially have to spend on food, transportation, housing, and necessary home care products are a higher portion of their income than of any other group. By some (not all) preachers using biblical propaganda to derive funds from members of the church who can't afford is causing more harm for their household than good for these leaders churches.
Pay your tithes, but be fiscally responsible. GOD will understand, I'm sure of it, me & him are kind of like best friends.
Horrors of The Pull-Out Method
I won't be ignorant and say that everyone has tried the pull-out method, but for those who tried it with someone that's not random, but with someone you wouldn't consider being with long term knows my agony.
Skipping through the action, but the moment when you get out and release a stream of body fluids either on her or lords where else beside in her you enjoy 10 seconds of satisfaction before those thoughts creep in. You know, all those things you were taught in human growth start repeating in your head till the point where you can probably give a dissertation on reproductive process and how pre-ejaculation is real.
You're on one side of the bed and she's on the other, you don't know what's going on in her head, but yours is wandering. You're thinking about past dudes she could've been with, how can I ask her if she's on a pill, and a multitude of other things. I'm thinking I really don't see her income going up, I just had a nice come up a few months prior and I'm not trying to be on no Child's Support, and I'm thinking why did am I sticking it in girls like this!
Then she says you're suppose to hold me and I'm like, "I don't like being touched and I don't think it's right for you to sleep over here." I'm paranoid as shit and she proceeds to attempt to start pillow talking about her ex from three weeks ago. I say, "I don't pillow talk so please stop." If you know me personally then you're aware of how corny I am, my stupid ass ask, "So how do you practice safe sex?(knowing damn well that should have been addressed to me)" She said she was on the pill, but she got pregnant with her daughter while on it and I'm like "Fuck!" I'm literally just staring at the wall in disarray thinking of anything excuse of how she won't be pregnant.
I'm to the point where I'm on the calling people about bringing me a morning after pill so that I can place it in an Advil bottle since she told me she had a headache. Im not even sure if thats a crime, but I'm sure it is so i scratch that idea. I call one of my best friends in Memphis and she's telling me don't do that and to calm down and go to church and pray on it that morning. I tell the girl she has to leave, after she leaves my mind won't allow me to sleep or rest.
I'm up until its time for me to head to church and during prayer time I walked to the alter on my own for the first time. During prayer and everything I zoned out and I just cried and cried to GOD, telling him I wasn't ready for a baby with that one. I was a nervous wreck afterward for like two months.
I'm thinking of how much it would take for her to give up custody. I'm expecting the worst and thinking every possible situation that I could be in. It felt like my whole life was changing. I was thinking of all the things I wouldn't be able to get off my bucket list like; smoking on a foreign island, going to Mardi Gras, etc. Random Pregnancy scares and debt have to the most two things that I'm most fearful of.
Lucky she's one of those women who needs to announce to social networks that Aunt Flo visited. What a reliever.
I know it takes just one to say put a condom on, but just make sure you do it. Also if you don't trust them having your kids just leave them alone. That 10 secs of satisfaction from the nut isn't worth it. This was easily one of the scariest moments to ever happen to me. Safe sex is great sex, especially with upstanding women.
Skipping through the action, but the moment when you get out and release a stream of body fluids either on her or lords where else beside in her you enjoy 10 seconds of satisfaction before those thoughts creep in. You know, all those things you were taught in human growth start repeating in your head till the point where you can probably give a dissertation on reproductive process and how pre-ejaculation is real.
You're on one side of the bed and she's on the other, you don't know what's going on in her head, but yours is wandering. You're thinking about past dudes she could've been with, how can I ask her if she's on a pill, and a multitude of other things. I'm thinking I really don't see her income going up, I just had a nice come up a few months prior and I'm not trying to be on no Child's Support, and I'm thinking why did am I sticking it in girls like this!
Then she says you're suppose to hold me and I'm like, "I don't like being touched and I don't think it's right for you to sleep over here." I'm paranoid as shit and she proceeds to attempt to start pillow talking about her ex from three weeks ago. I say, "I don't pillow talk so please stop." If you know me personally then you're aware of how corny I am, my stupid ass ask, "So how do you practice safe sex?(knowing damn well that should have been addressed to me)" She said she was on the pill, but she got pregnant with her daughter while on it and I'm like "Fuck!" I'm literally just staring at the wall in disarray thinking of anything excuse of how she won't be pregnant.
I'm to the point where I'm on the calling people about bringing me a morning after pill so that I can place it in an Advil bottle since she told me she had a headache. Im not even sure if thats a crime, but I'm sure it is so i scratch that idea. I call one of my best friends in Memphis and she's telling me don't do that and to calm down and go to church and pray on it that morning. I tell the girl she has to leave, after she leaves my mind won't allow me to sleep or rest.
I'm up until its time for me to head to church and during prayer time I walked to the alter on my own for the first time. During prayer and everything I zoned out and I just cried and cried to GOD, telling him I wasn't ready for a baby with that one. I was a nervous wreck afterward for like two months.
I'm thinking of how much it would take for her to give up custody. I'm expecting the worst and thinking every possible situation that I could be in. It felt like my whole life was changing. I was thinking of all the things I wouldn't be able to get off my bucket list like; smoking on a foreign island, going to Mardi Gras, etc. Random Pregnancy scares and debt have to the most two things that I'm most fearful of.
Lucky she's one of those women who needs to announce to social networks that Aunt Flo visited. What a reliever.
I know it takes just one to say put a condom on, but just make sure you do it. Also if you don't trust them having your kids just leave them alone. That 10 secs of satisfaction from the nut isn't worth it. This was easily one of the scariest moments to ever happen to me. Safe sex is great sex, especially with upstanding women.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Do You Even Remember Octobers My Birthday
One of the greatest tricks the devil ever pulled was having women thinking they didn't need a man to help raise a child.
I remember the day after my birthday I get a text, not phone call, but a simple generic happy birthday text from my dad. This has occurred the last three years making me assume he's forgotten that my birthday is the 27th, not the 28th. What urkes me is that people that have known me less than three years know when my birthday is and don't give me simple generic greetings. I told 'em my actual birthday and he tried pacify the situation by offering Grizzly tickets.
Since he gets season tickets he thought that could erase the anger and pain I was feeling, but my pride would not allow it. I just told him I'm good and that it wasn't needed because now his funds weren't needed and that I can buy tickets to any game I want and damn near sit where I want. The text conversation was getting to the point where he called me.
I made sure he video chatted me so he can see I was on island enjoying life. I don't do things for the reaction, but the pain that was embedded in me just had to let him know that I didn't need him anymore and that I've made it this far and Im doing pretty well for myself. I felt like I had to let him know my momma step up and handled his responsibility even though I know deep down she didn't handle everything.
I made it without a felony, I graduated, and go to college, but it's some things only a man can teach. I never had a father tell me about not putting a razor on my face to avoid that nestle crunch, the proper uses of condoms, the definition of hard honest work, and other things that get overlooked. Fathers need to be a boys first role model, drug dealers & gang members shouldn't be who a child looks at as a positive figure.
A lot women get so caught up in being super mom and think those cs checks are enough that they neglect the psychological toll that is having on the child. I hated going through a childhood where I had to suffer, but I never wanted my mom to feel like she failed. I always wanted her to feel like she was the best and that our family wasn't anything less than the Huxtables. I never wanted to have her feel shame, so I kept all that to myself. To this day I always thank her for those sacrifices, but I think these single parent households are destructive to the black community especially.
I can't speak on women, but sometimes a boy just needs to know he's loved by his father, because its been times I cried in my bed asking why and making excuses that maybe it was my mothers fault he wasn't around. When it wasn't he just wasn't ready, but she had no choice because that's what women are being programmed to do. I love my super momma, but women shouldn't have to be superheroes. A man should never feel its okay to walk away, because those who are admitting that they are worthless anyway.
Ps...If you don't do anything, at least remember your child's birthday.
I remember the day after my birthday I get a text, not phone call, but a simple generic happy birthday text from my dad. This has occurred the last three years making me assume he's forgotten that my birthday is the 27th, not the 28th. What urkes me is that people that have known me less than three years know when my birthday is and don't give me simple generic greetings. I told 'em my actual birthday and he tried pacify the situation by offering Grizzly tickets.
Since he gets season tickets he thought that could erase the anger and pain I was feeling, but my pride would not allow it. I just told him I'm good and that it wasn't needed because now his funds weren't needed and that I can buy tickets to any game I want and damn near sit where I want. The text conversation was getting to the point where he called me.
I made sure he video chatted me so he can see I was on island enjoying life. I don't do things for the reaction, but the pain that was embedded in me just had to let him know that I didn't need him anymore and that I've made it this far and Im doing pretty well for myself. I felt like I had to let him know my momma step up and handled his responsibility even though I know deep down she didn't handle everything.
I made it without a felony, I graduated, and go to college, but it's some things only a man can teach. I never had a father tell me about not putting a razor on my face to avoid that nestle crunch, the proper uses of condoms, the definition of hard honest work, and other things that get overlooked. Fathers need to be a boys first role model, drug dealers & gang members shouldn't be who a child looks at as a positive figure.
A lot women get so caught up in being super mom and think those cs checks are enough that they neglect the psychological toll that is having on the child. I hated going through a childhood where I had to suffer, but I never wanted my mom to feel like she failed. I always wanted her to feel like she was the best and that our family wasn't anything less than the Huxtables. I never wanted to have her feel shame, so I kept all that to myself. To this day I always thank her for those sacrifices, but I think these single parent households are destructive to the black community especially.
I can't speak on women, but sometimes a boy just needs to know he's loved by his father, because its been times I cried in my bed asking why and making excuses that maybe it was my mothers fault he wasn't around. When it wasn't he just wasn't ready, but she had no choice because that's what women are being programmed to do. I love my super momma, but women shouldn't have to be superheroes. A man should never feel its okay to walk away, because those who are admitting that they are worthless anyway.
Ps...If you don't do anything, at least remember your child's birthday.
Relafriendship
"It don't really matter if she look good in your eyesight nothing really matters if she ain't got her mid right"
People who enter your life on more than occasional basis are there to teach you something. Whether its how to be better you, the meaning of life, or just simply how to love...But when you encounter those who teach you all three it keeps you indebted to them.
When it comes to those of non-relation I've notice in my short time on earth it's not many who genuinely care about you, and not what you can do for them. They never ask you for anything but trust. Those type of people make you give them that plus more, monetary or not. What outsiders may believe are the simplest things don't realize they do so much for you.
Whether its providing you with the confidence to go after a new job with career potential, making sure your high lapel suit is fitted on you to perfection. You stay with a fresh lined cut, trimmed face, and no dirt under your finger nails. She turns a tall tee, baggy jeans, ebonics speaking brother into a sophisticated, articulate, intellectual, socially conscious man. I mean she keeps her influence on you, but still makes you feel like your "that nigga."
You get that point where you learn that life is more than about you. It's more about leaving your mark on the world that can't be changed and remembered for years to come long after you're gone. I'm a living witness, not knowing what you want out of life, but meeting someone who inspires you to be better than average, or greater than what's expected. Their are only a few you encounter and those are the one that your soul allows you to love.
That type of love that has you going out your way to much sure they're good. Whether it's making trips to ensure they have their caramel macchiato, sandwich from subway, and meds. Im notorious for stating my appreciation for brazilian weave, curly hair, caramel skin, jay-z loving, degree having women, but a few special ones will make you forget all of that. It's not many that will have you paying attention to random things they say and using that information to do things for them just so you can see them smile. Whether it's a random time you notice their hard drive is full and without telling them you buy a external hard drive. It's just little things like that you pay attention to that you wouldn't do for others.
In the event I do post this many women may "like &/or comment" thinking its referring to them, but when a man cares so much for you that his main concern is making sure you're happy even if it isn't with him speaks volumes on the kind of woman you are.
I've been fortunate to come across 1-2 phenomenal women that I'll always make sure they're good. Anybody can take care of grown man, clean, cook, and cater to a man, but those things can't make you love them. Loving someone for who they are and what represent will always overshadow the love you have for what someone can do.
For the one(s) I've been blessed to meet you already know anytime you need anything I'm forever indebted to you and it's only a phone call.
Just know I Thank You
People who enter your life on more than occasional basis are there to teach you something. Whether its how to be better you, the meaning of life, or just simply how to love...But when you encounter those who teach you all three it keeps you indebted to them.
When it comes to those of non-relation I've notice in my short time on earth it's not many who genuinely care about you, and not what you can do for them. They never ask you for anything but trust. Those type of people make you give them that plus more, monetary or not. What outsiders may believe are the simplest things don't realize they do so much for you.
Whether its providing you with the confidence to go after a new job with career potential, making sure your high lapel suit is fitted on you to perfection. You stay with a fresh lined cut, trimmed face, and no dirt under your finger nails. She turns a tall tee, baggy jeans, ebonics speaking brother into a sophisticated, articulate, intellectual, socially conscious man. I mean she keeps her influence on you, but still makes you feel like your "that nigga."
You get that point where you learn that life is more than about you. It's more about leaving your mark on the world that can't be changed and remembered for years to come long after you're gone. I'm a living witness, not knowing what you want out of life, but meeting someone who inspires you to be better than average, or greater than what's expected. Their are only a few you encounter and those are the one that your soul allows you to love.
That type of love that has you going out your way to much sure they're good. Whether it's making trips to ensure they have their caramel macchiato, sandwich from subway, and meds. Im notorious for stating my appreciation for brazilian weave, curly hair, caramel skin, jay-z loving, degree having women, but a few special ones will make you forget all of that. It's not many that will have you paying attention to random things they say and using that information to do things for them just so you can see them smile. Whether it's a random time you notice their hard drive is full and without telling them you buy a external hard drive. It's just little things like that you pay attention to that you wouldn't do for others.
In the event I do post this many women may "like &/or comment" thinking its referring to them, but when a man cares so much for you that his main concern is making sure you're happy even if it isn't with him speaks volumes on the kind of woman you are.
I've been fortunate to come across 1-2 phenomenal women that I'll always make sure they're good. Anybody can take care of grown man, clean, cook, and cater to a man, but those things can't make you love them. Loving someone for who they are and what represent will always overshadow the love you have for what someone can do.
For the one(s) I've been blessed to meet you already know anytime you need anything I'm forever indebted to you and it's only a phone call.
Just know I Thank You
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Social Media Versus What's Real
"Alotta people fronting they really fitting the bill, there's a very big difference between what's tweeted and what's real"
In this new age of social media all the estimable luxurious aspects of a persons life are posted for the likes, retweets, comments, etc.
Social networks have programmed many to post only things that are moderately true to give off the impression that life is better than what it seems, me included, as I've been recently made aware of. Instagram especially allows you to post portions of truth while leaving much out.
I know personally you can get so excited sitting in the front of the plane, but you forget to tell about the times you sat in the back of the bus on that 12 hour drive to Chicago, or sitting on that MAT bus catching that 18 West hoping you make it to your 5.25 an hour job. That passport book with that stamp is quickly uploaded before those food stamps on #tbt. I've always been taught to never be ashamed where you came from or who you are, because that's what makes you different. I remember my first apartment 7116 Circle #1, I didn't have furniture for like three months, have that mattress sitting on the floor, and that tube tv sitting on my dresser, but thought I was Living Like Kings. You can get so caught up in showing "followers" that your living "The Good Life" that you fail to show those three years in that red & khaki pushing them carts, stocking them shelves, living check to check with a bank account looking quite famished. I'm talking you grown man rationing meals and eating at particular times of the day so your not tempted to eat as often.
Too often we see the pictures of the ciroc bottles in clubs, but not those who are working 60 hours work weeks just to stunt on the weekend. You have the strip club photos with floor paper of George Washington's, but the Internet is unaware of the main chick and child at home needing milk. Foreign (everything but China) clothing, but we aren't made aware of living arrangements. What's a push to start car when you barely get by with the payments and you're paying interest rates out the ass? Us as a people have gotten so caught up in the opinions of others that people spend outrageous money that can't afford to throwaway on minuscule objects just to tweet about or Instagram it.
I'm all for motivating the streets, but just showing the triumph, and ignoring the streets keeps those below unaware of how to appreciate the blessing.
Believe half of what you see, none of what you hear even if its post by me.
In this new age of social media all the estimable luxurious aspects of a persons life are posted for the likes, retweets, comments, etc.
Social networks have programmed many to post only things that are moderately true to give off the impression that life is better than what it seems, me included, as I've been recently made aware of. Instagram especially allows you to post portions of truth while leaving much out.
I know personally you can get so excited sitting in the front of the plane, but you forget to tell about the times you sat in the back of the bus on that 12 hour drive to Chicago, or sitting on that MAT bus catching that 18 West hoping you make it to your 5.25 an hour job. That passport book with that stamp is quickly uploaded before those food stamps on #tbt. I've always been taught to never be ashamed where you came from or who you are, because that's what makes you different. I remember my first apartment 7116 Circle #1, I didn't have furniture for like three months, have that mattress sitting on the floor, and that tube tv sitting on my dresser, but thought I was Living Like Kings. You can get so caught up in showing "followers" that your living "The Good Life" that you fail to show those three years in that red & khaki pushing them carts, stocking them shelves, living check to check with a bank account looking quite famished. I'm talking you grown man rationing meals and eating at particular times of the day so your not tempted to eat as often.
Too often we see the pictures of the ciroc bottles in clubs, but not those who are working 60 hours work weeks just to stunt on the weekend. You have the strip club photos with floor paper of George Washington's, but the Internet is unaware of the main chick and child at home needing milk. Foreign (everything but China) clothing, but we aren't made aware of living arrangements. What's a push to start car when you barely get by with the payments and you're paying interest rates out the ass? Us as a people have gotten so caught up in the opinions of others that people spend outrageous money that can't afford to throwaway on minuscule objects just to tweet about or Instagram it.
I'm all for motivating the streets, but just showing the triumph, and ignoring the streets keeps those below unaware of how to appreciate the blessing.
Believe half of what you see, none of what you hear even if its post by me.
Ratchet Vagina at 4am
I attempted to direct this blog on how SOME women should carry around baby or wet wipes, but I think I will just accept this "L." I'm not sure if this what Juicy J meant, but I think I've found the ratchet vagina.
You ever wanted something so bad, but when you finally get it just leaves you disgusted. I probably should have never answered that 4am text, but I did and I regret it. I think the most high was setting up a testimony for me in the form of a foul smelling vaginal experience.'
I had my usual two Gin & Juices, and shot of patron so I'm feeling myself a little bit, and she comes over here completely gone. So like a typical woman who texts at 4am she's on that "I'm just trying to sleep non-sense." After rubbing on that inner thigh she miraculously proceeds to undress herself. It gets to to the point where her I'm pulling her panties off and it hits mean, I mean it punches me with a haymaker. I mean this was the most foulest, disgusting, unpalatable smell that I've ever encountered on a woman.
It had me feeling some kind of way, shit had me feeling disrespected in my own house. Like I'm unsure how a woman doesn't know whether her box is in order or not. What tripped me was her hinting at me about going face down, like these lips of clay aren't selective. Most men probably have been in this situation, and we all know our options.
We can either hold our breath and go face down, put that rubber on, or pretend like you're having a erectile dysfunction.
Needless to say, I had an erectile dysfunction, but being the good guy that I am I didn't have her drive home, but my ass was staying that room, I slept on my couch and had my alarm clock go off at 8:30 so she knew she had to go. I basically lied and said I had to work.
I don't know if the smell embedded itself on me, or the memory had me feeling like the smell was surrounded by me. I took like 4 showers within an hour before leaving for church. After getting back those sheets she laid on went through two washes because of that woman. I would never wish that experience on anyone, but I know most of us have went through it, but I'm just here to tell y'all my story.
Don't look down on my poor judgement, but just pray I never encounter that foul smelling vaginal experience again.
You ever wanted something so bad, but when you finally get it just leaves you disgusted. I probably should have never answered that 4am text, but I did and I regret it. I think the most high was setting up a testimony for me in the form of a foul smelling vaginal experience.'
I had my usual two Gin & Juices, and shot of patron so I'm feeling myself a little bit, and she comes over here completely gone. So like a typical woman who texts at 4am she's on that "I'm just trying to sleep non-sense." After rubbing on that inner thigh she miraculously proceeds to undress herself. It gets to to the point where her I'm pulling her panties off and it hits mean, I mean it punches me with a haymaker. I mean this was the most foulest, disgusting, unpalatable smell that I've ever encountered on a woman.
It had me feeling some kind of way, shit had me feeling disrespected in my own house. Like I'm unsure how a woman doesn't know whether her box is in order or not. What tripped me was her hinting at me about going face down, like these lips of clay aren't selective. Most men probably have been in this situation, and we all know our options.
We can either hold our breath and go face down, put that rubber on, or pretend like you're having a erectile dysfunction.
Needless to say, I had an erectile dysfunction, but being the good guy that I am I didn't have her drive home, but my ass was staying that room, I slept on my couch and had my alarm clock go off at 8:30 so she knew she had to go. I basically lied and said I had to work.
I don't know if the smell embedded itself on me, or the memory had me feeling like the smell was surrounded by me. I took like 4 showers within an hour before leaving for church. After getting back those sheets she laid on went through two washes because of that woman. I would never wish that experience on anyone, but I know most of us have went through it, but I'm just here to tell y'all my story.
Don't look down on my poor judgement, but just pray I never encounter that foul smelling vaginal experience again.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
FREE LARRY HOOVER
"Wanna condemn them cuz they sell dope, well man show 'em the ropes, be a father, a football coach, a role model or a symbol of hope."
Larry Hoover, many may only know him because of Rick Ross. Well he was more than just a line in a hook of song. He was the leader, head honcho, commander-in-Chief of one the largest black street gangs in America...The Gangsta Disciples.
If you are familiar with either Chief Keef and the 3hunna music movement then you have a clear inclination of what these new age street rap artist from Chicago represent. They constitute the problem of the adolescent black on black genocide that is plaguing the inner city of Chicago's West and Southside (other places also).
I'm not here to argue that Larry Hoover was a good person, but I am here to say that you can't deny his influence. Even as a middle schooler he presented a dream to other troubled youth and they bought it. He sold drugs to his people and played a role in the community, he was responsible for murders, and also robberies. So... why shall we "free" Larry Hoover? We should "free" him because he had that type of charisma and charismatic appeal that made the masses respect, listen, and obey King Larry.
I'm not saying let the Gangsta King Larry out, the same gangsta who used Growth & Development (a non profit charity) as a means to launder drug money, but free what he represented. He was someone that children looked to as a idol and what teens & adults attempted to emulate. You don't necessarily need to free him, but someone who's able to mirror his ascendancy toward the populace.
A lot of these kids aren't really bad, they are just following what they see, because no one is around to lead them. Either gang leaders that once kept their gangs moving like an organized crime mob are incarcerated or they're strung on drugs. You can lead the children by simply being a local sports coach, a father, or anyone that can relate to their day to day struggle but also offer symbols of hope.
Too many times people on outside see senseless killings and worry about guns in the community instead finding out why kids feel the need to have guns in the community, so we deem the youth lost instead if trying to find and bring out the good in them.
We don't want to free Larry Hoover the partial influence of this gang culture, but we just need that spirit to motivate these youth to want more, and to be better.
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