The Weakness in Strength

Since the 60’s leading into the 70’s black households have increasingly been headed by a woman. These women are now taking on the roles of heroes. As heads of these modern households they are wearing hats that they traditionally they shouldn’t fit; holding down a full-time job (sometimes with overtime), bearing the sole responsibility of raising boys to men and girls into women. Not only are these single mothers supposed to be nurturers, but also protectors. A lot of these households are producing daughters who are being put at disadvantage in life, mainly because many aren’t getting a male figure that shows that sensual love for them without expecting anything or much in return for them.



Now that we are in the 21st century a lot of these black women have grown up with the assumption that they have to play a superhero role in society where they have to show their strength all the time and not show any signs of vulnerabilities. Superheroes should only exist in comic books and in movies. By taking on this masculine role you are cheating yourself out of a life normalcy and complete happiness.



By taking on the superhero “I can do it on my own” persona you sacrifice taking care of your own needs. We as a black community have imprisoned many of our sisters into the roles instead of letting them be free to define who they truly can be instead of the traditional single mother of two who has to work 2-3 jobs to keep the lights on. Before we can even look at ways of fixing these roles that we have trapped a lot of these women we have to see those factors that have led to the hardened black feminine figure.



We must ask ourselves why she feels the need to be the strong and put on this mask of a strong heroic woman. Under that mask of strength, fearlessness, and confidence could be a woman that grew up fatherless, one that was raped, abused, or had to be the witness of a mother that abused physically or emotionally by a significant other. A lot of these issues that many women try to hide are usually the determent's factors of their character. Many of are sisters are covered in smiles that conceal broken hearts, fear of failure, and despair.



These strong sisters have to be commended for taking on these responsibility's and possessing superhero powers that most men would likely shy away from. What happens when those strengths become one of your faults and biggest weaknesses? The idea that you have to be strong can alter your pursuit towards a romantic relationship. Lately society has placed this stigma on black men that we are scared of a black woman when in reality it nearly impossible to deal with anyone is afraid of being vulnerable towards you to let you in their life. It’s very problematic and difficult to find woman that can appreciate you doing anything nice for them or showing interest in them with the belief that you have ulterior motives. Too many times black men and women can get along perfectly while we’re lying down, but the moment we are standing a lot of the conflicts of roles battling each other seem to become unbearable. The great power of being a strong black woman when most would expect you to be weak and fold leaves many in isolation. Something as simple as letting someone do something nice for you, pamper or support you can be difficult to submit to.



Even though single mothers have produced a good amount of college graduates, upstanding citizens, and progressed our communities while many were strung out on drugs, walked away, or populated the prison systems it seems that the “the strong black woman” has done more hurt to herself and left her own personal happiness unfilled.