Why Some Make It Out Of The Hood (My Response)

On August 27, 2013 I was presented with the question on why some make it out of the hood and others do not. Through countless days, hours, and years of studying race relations primarily poverty stricken areas I can honestly say I don’t know. No one can really know, not even a Nero-Scientist can tell you what propels one individual as opposed to another. Especially when they share similar experiences living in the, “hood.” 

We can talk about every policy, law, and institutionalized practice that keeps blacks in the hood, but when thinking about what gets the select few out is the question. W.E.B. Du Bois authored The Talented Tenth which didn’t answer the question, but stated the responsibilities for those who would make it out to help those who weren’t afforded the resilience to excel past their peers. 

The majority who don’t make it out of the hood have what I would like to call, “hood mentality.” They don’t see life outside of their zip code and life outside of their circumstances. At birth they are given a disadvantage that perpetuate a low ceiling for them.  When an individual has no incentive to better themselves or anything to aim for they start to live day to day instead of anticipating a future. Even when you look in the media from news outlets and even music, people are consistently reminded that they might not live to see 25 or that they will end up being a welfare queen. Many of “us” in the hood also have a false sense of inclusion into dominate society.  They feel that maybe if I can buy this or put an image then I have made it. 

If you look at history in the 1500’s all Jews lived in ghettos. They didn’t have exceptions because Christians during that time made sure that if a Jew tried to escape that they would be placed there. In contemporary times blacks are not segregated by color into lower income communities, but by policy they have been grouped there. Also they have been grouped there by gentrification. These types of practices have been going on for so long that many develop a “hood nigga psychological” complex. In today’s thought process we have been made to believe that hood and black coincides with one another. For those who don’t accept this and reject these notions (The Talented Tenth) they are looked at as acting white, sell-outs, and less than black by their “hood” counterparts. Even though no one will openly say that they want to struggle or live in poverty, many will tell you that they don’t want to be rejected by their own. 

Even though we have given ourselves low ceilings we has a collective have refused to work together to break through the glass, and even though some may not be spiritual we still use the principle of GOD as a deterrent by just believing that he will make a way instead of individuals taken it upon themselves to put in the work. 

For those who made it of the hood without the use of entertainment and sports can be looked at as simply wanting it more. They reject every negative notion about themselves. In my opinion the only way to make it out of these conditions is to believe that you have a higher ceiling. Even though you know racism and discrimination exist you must always keep in the forefront of your brain that you belong here and you just as good as your counterparts, if not better. Of course it is best to avoid earlier pregnancy and incarceration because those things can just return you back into that same cycle of poverty. To make it out you have to have discipline, especially the ability to deal with the processes of obtaining new information. The brain consumes about 20-30 percent of all the calories that the body intakes daily. When a person is consuming information that rapid increase of information can cause many to feel tired or bored. Those who don’t accept these feelings are able to confront limitations that are presented to them. The gap between the talented tenth and those who go to jail or those who are stuck in the hood isn’t that much different when you focus on it with wide lenses. Few take that leap of faith and many take steps back and look at the probability of the outcome by past history and expectations that they or others may have for them.

Our choices ultimately depend on fear. Do you anticipate the banquets that life will cater to us, or are you scared? Those who make it have a purpose in life. They don’t believe that they just live here, they believe in living. From working with secondary educational students I can tell at an early age who will make it, not by listening to their words, by observing their actions. When you look at a person’s everyday choices that will reveal what they believe is central and that in-turn will drive them there. If you take steps towards trying to be a street nigga that’s how you will be, but if your actions are propelled towards learning that will bring you into that demographic. We must also note that an educated demographic doesn’t coincide with hood, even though the hood may be a part of their studies. The difference is that you just study the hood from the sidewalk. 

At the end of it all are conscious actions and beliefs are the ones the run the show and get us out of the hood. No government program, scholarship, speech, or black president can. The only thing that brings us out of the hood is ourselves and willpower. 

Where Has The Love Went (Misogyny in Hip-Hop)

“I hear my conscious call telling me I need a girls whose as sweet as a dove, but fuck that my names “ “ and you know I’m a thug, if you drunk off love I suggest you get over it, ma cry me a river build a bridge and get over it.”

Many will argue that with the black women participating in the feminist movement along white women this helped bring a divide amongst black families and put them at odds ends instead of standing strong together. Other may also attest to the low levels of black men receiving degrees in higher education compared to black men or the high level of black men in the caught in the judicial system. Hip-Hop and RnB are important to the black culture like no other genre, it was partially built upon getting the messages that were affecting the community to the masses, but if you’ve been listening later it is apparent that the love is gone.

It was a point where love was profess more than going to the club and standing on couches with overpriced bottles in your hand. It was a time where all you needed in this life of sin was you and your girlfriend.  There was a time where it was normal for artist to get on the mic and profess that they needed love, but now the genre has become so overly misogynistic that sex is the only main concern. Even the new era of RnB cats have stopped singing about the quest to find love and different scenarios that revolve around it. Music has taken a detour in finding the girl that you’ll take a life sentence for and make your wife to only being concerned about the one you can have for one night. The question is; whether today’s music is just indicative of the times that we are living in, or is it another avenue for the male dominant society to victimize, exploit, and exploit women.  

Many use the argument well musicians didn’t invent domestic violence, they didn’t invent the “B” word, they aren’t responsible for the decline of marriage in the black community and the high levels of single parent households, but every time you use your stage (the mic) and dehumanize women through song you become a part of the problem and divert yourself from the solution. No one is calling for every rapper or singer to get back to making songs about love, but when you elevate a pimp, one of the most despicable figures to a high status you’ve done something wrong. Even though many artist have used their voice to stand up against these issues, most run into the hurdle of not being heard because their voice box doesn’t reach a wider demographic. It was be ignorant to ignore the appeal that Hip-Hop has to the world, things that can be deemed as detrimental are starting to becoming normalize in popular society.

For instance stripping is one of those things, instead of showering women with love and affection, the newer generation has decided to make naked women a commodity in which they shower her with dollar bills for dancing and taking her clothes off. Even though artist didn’t invent stripping they still have to be held accountable. Glamorization and glorification are an excessive concentration of things that are preexisting, you are just mirroring these oppressions back to the people and causing harm. Even if rappers don’t want to be Drake and find their love they still have a social responsibility to show a woman’s intellectual cognitive ability to do more than shake her ass.

We all understand that in Hip-Hop trends comes and go, but I thought we were taught that love supposed to last forever and not just for a couple decades. Are we the to blame that we are hearing less of “All I Need,” and more of “As Long As My Bitches Love Me?” In reality the lack of love amongst blacks didn’t begin nor will it end with Hip-Hop, but lowering the complexity of black female identity to just objects such as breast, thighs, and ass is brought is further away from adoring her heart, soul, and brain.

When we kill the love and heart then the soul goes shortly thereafter.

Black Television Before & After Cosby

"I try to tell her about how they show us on the TV screen, but all she want me to do is unzip her jeans"

At my age I wasn’t able to fully take in the cultural impact that shows like The Cosby Show had when it was premiered. My generation only experienced this iconic show through TV Land and Nick at Nite re-runs. Even though it is a fictitious and currently not airing any episodes it still till this day is mentioned in college classrooms across the nation as the leading example of a presentation of a black family that was painted in a luminous light and also breaking stereotypes. 

The Cosby show was one of its kind, a true trendsetter in the sense of the word. In television, "Before Cosby" much of the black family life was depicted of a poor lower class family struggling, but used jokes just to buy our attention till next week’s episode. After Cosby blacks are still portrayed in somewhat of a negative light, even though a handful of sitcoms followed the blueprint of the Cosby Show many after just showed blacks as buffoons, aggressive, criminals, and flamboyant. Even though some blacks, just like all races fit in these same categories, blacks disproportionally are promoted to mass audiences in negative fashion therefore perpetuating these images as facts to viewers.

A survey done by the Boston Globe in 1991 showed that young children and older adults disproportionally saw the Huxtable’s as a realistic expectation as to what black family life was like, even though by statistics the wealth that the Huxtable’s possessed was very rare in the black community. Attitudinal data suggest that the more television we watch the more likely we are to hold ideas that contradict each other. For example most people know just by looking at statistics that majority of black couples aren’t lawyers and doctors, but at the same time seeing a positive image of that on TV suggest that it isn’t far fetched and that it is normal to come across that in everyday life.

Before Cosby we had shows like Good Times & What’s Happenin’, they were both black family sitcom shows that were comedic strips, but showed black families in low economical classes. These shows were built just like the Cosby Show aside from the fact that The Cosby Show's family were doing better financially. Even though I wasn’t of age to witness the dynamic altering of race and class in America this was still something very monumental for Black America.

This shift in modern television not only brought sitcoms back to the forefront, but for a good few years blacks were taking out of working class roles and places as professionals on our weekly TV screens. Blacks were now in roles as top police officers, lawyers, professors, and business owners. Even though many of us won’t admit it The Cosby Show and others that followed gave us a new direction to aspire to follow. Cliff and Claire were “step-parents” to some and inspiration for those who may never have anyone with a college degree in the home to motivate them. For those of other races who may have little to no contact with black families they could look at The Cosby Show as a model for how black families act and look at it as normal, instead of thinking of black families as they are portrayed in “reality TV,” shows.

After Cosby network sitcoms had a small run and they began to fade, soon they were replaced by “reality TV.” BET, VH1, MTV (all owned by Viacom) and many others decided to join the ranks in broadcasting our reality (I use that term loosely) to the masses for their consumption. These new shows place women in roles such as gold diggers and sponsor the idea that maybe if you sleep with someone of mild importance then maybe you can be famous too, even if it’s only by association. Most of the women are dealing with infidelity, on the search for love, or recovering from a difficult break-up. Even though women of all races, not just black go through these and it wouldn’t be reality if it was excluded, but it seems as though happy women in relationships always seem to be extinct or nonexistent in the realm of reality TV. Even though these lives may be real, it begs the question on whether or not other tales can be told?  We are presented with more women who have the, "She’s been with [such and such]" stigma, instead of being shown what she is doing for herself independently. I don’t see how anyone can see that these shows are a portrayal of reality, maybe it gives them an escape from difficulties in their lives that they are going through. Viewers have accepted these shows and look at them as the norm in The Black American Experience. These shows have taken the concerns that many have of fictitious Tyler Perry movies and showed that they are reality, even if they are exaggerations.

Even though critics may argue that The Cosby Show ignored institutionalized racism and ignored obstacles that many blacks face with upward mobility obtainment, or that they may reinforce the notion that blacks lack of achievement could be attributed to laziness, lack of education, and many other things that can be attributed to other oppressions that they face from outside forces. Those arguments however beg the question is it enough to be acknowledged on shows like Love & Hip-Hop, Flavor of Love, Basketball Wives, and many others or should we want respect from these stations that broadcast our “realities” to millions daily? Is thirty to sixty minutes of entertainment worth looking like buffoons and coons on modern day minstrel shows? When looking at blacks on TV think of this Jay-Z quote, "When you see me, see you." 

Darkness on the South-side

I see more needles with dried dark red blood in the street than kids happily playing in them,

Babies crying for food, and mothers crying oceans because they don’t have the means to feed them,

Schools are closing yearly, but prisons seem like they are opening daily,

Cost of living is skyrocketing, but social funds are plummeting,

I just want to be a lawyer, a scientist, or somebody with a Ph.D but I’m 6’3 and my community says that I should try to live out hoop dreams,

I have more access to a ball court than a library,

I see more despair than hope, more junkies and crack fiends, than people that look like me living out million dollar dreams swiping black cards for expensive things,

Gentrification, felonies, kids misdiagnosed with mental retardation, but a lack of youth leading my country to become a better nation,

Will I overcome or just become another statistic stuck at the bottom,

Either my people are dying, or they are clocking in 9 to 5’s and 10- 6’s minimum wage living at 63 because 70 for us is when we are retiring,

Not because they want to, but to keep the heat on and to give Junior a couple presents for Christmas,

Streets lights are shining like a thousand watt light bulb, but those are the only things bright on Chicago’s southside,

Mother’s cry, their babies die, and children wonder why,

They wonder why it has to be like this,

Sometimes we just want to see the our side shine, brighten up our day like the Chicago Skyline,

But no we walk in darkness on Chicago’s Southside, looking for hope that our former Senator, and current President promised us, but no one can see the pain because the sun doesn’t shine on the Soutside.

Everyday Slaves

"Education and incarceration are connected. As a society we can choose either to emphasize a proactive investment in the stability of families and education of children, or to emphasize a reactive investment in incarceration and forms of carceral punishment. In short we can both build and invest in schools and equality of opportunity in education or we can invest in prisons." Michael Glennon

 

Today mass incarceration is a fundamental practice in American society. The United States has placed more blacks in the criminal justice system in the forms of prison terms, parole, and/or probation than were in slavery. More blacks are under supervision than in any time in America’s elongated history. We are in America were freedom is only a privilege for some of it’s citizen, but for others they are treated like walking felons. Prisons were first formed to put up Americas most dangerous criminals, but now these same prisons have been sold to private entities that profit off of these “criminals.” We have since gone from an inconsistent justice system to a power structure that uses mass punishment as an incentive to incarcerate citizens.

Prison was formed as a social means to deter members of society from going to prisons which would in turn keep the number of inmates low, but private institutions have incentives to keep numbers high so that they can maximize profit. Under The 13^th Amendment it is constituted in language that, “Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.” Since 1980 crime rates in America have steadily decreased, but incarceration has rapidly increased partially due to The Reagan Era.

I know it seems heaven sent, but we aint ready to see a black president, it’s not enough to conceal the facts that the penitentiary packed and it’s filled with blacks...Instead of War on Poverty they got a War on Drugs so the police can bother me. Tupac

In 1971 Richard Nixon was the first to coin the term “The War on Drugs,” but President Reagan made it a race to incarcerate. In 1982 he announced that the nation was going to combat the Crack Epidemic. He promised drug free zones in school, workplaces, and increased drug treatment facilities. Another thing he promised was stiffer drug penalties. Many critics may argue whether his plan was implemented to effectiveness, but all won’t deny about Reagan carrying through his plan with stiffer penalties. In 1986 he did just that, in that year he signed a bill that used 1.7 billion dollars to fund his plan. Even though cocaine was more widely used, more costly, and the foundation of crack he kept those sentences levels stable for that drug, but raised mandatory minimum sentences for crack-cocaine. Many people looked at this as an attack on poverty stricken communities and low income areas. These new laws had mammoth effects on blacks. These policies did very little to diminish the amount of drugs on the streets, but increased the prison population to large proportions.

Even after leaving office Reagan passed the baton to President Bush who picked where Reagan left off. Even though many criminal justice scholars claimed that these policies would not reduce drugs use or the availability of drugs, but it would increase the prison population those claims went ignored. Instead the Bush Administration went ahead with a study that stated that mass incarceration would save tax payers 405,000 for every offender. Even though many economist showed that the data didn’t add up our government fed this propaganda to the masses and they ate it up. While they were digesting this, adolescents in lower income communities suffered.

Between 1980-1993 education, employment, and training programs were cut in half, but spending on correctional facilities went up 521%. In 2006 the State of California spent 8,000 dollars on average for a child in their school district, but invested 216,000 dollars for one juvenile inmate. So we must ask, what’s more important, educating our children to be productive, free thinking citizens, or investing them into a system that turns them into slaves?  75% of those in these juvenile inmates are illiterate by the 12^thgrade and less than 20% will have their high school diploma. This isn’t cause and effect, but a direct correlation. This is the science of criminology, and what sociologist study. When you cut education and invest in correction you are directly sending messages that the people you are sending out of school will be pushed right into a system of slavery. Many of these children will be many of the 13 million that are introduced to American prisons yearly. Many will visit these prisons for marijuana offenses. As of today 1 of every American is serving time behind bars where they are working for as much as .15 cents a day. Even though they are getting this minimal amount of income most will never see a single dime of it, or the .15 cents because most inmates checks go to pay legal, court, and restitution fees. So in a sense they are working for free and turned into modern day slaves while private cooperation’s make billions off of them. Only in America can a prison be put on Wall Street. How can a system that is stated to be for rehabilitation be on Wall Street, this seems like economical elevation?

Housing, feeding , and providing standard medical treatment to over six million people may seem like a financial burden, but to companies like CCA & GEO it’s a 70 billion dollar industry that they have invested in. These two cooperation’s only agreed to take over these states prisons only if they could get a guarantee from the state that they will stay 90% occupied. The problem is that even though the states would get pay-outs they would also be pressured to promote laws that would keep incarceration laws high.

No matter how fiscally responsible it may seem to pass over the prison industries to private companies it goes against what the justice system is suppose to stand for. Justice is fairness, not a monetary incentive for criminals, suspected criminals, and non-criminals to be handed over to cooperation’s whose sole concern isn’t rehabilitation, but concern is free labor. This system does not help those lost in the world to find avenues to better themselves or deter others on the street from deviant behavior instead it turns millions every year into modern day slaves. We have a justice system that had displaced minorities at an alarming rate in prisons with number identifications away from having their government names read in graduation lines.

Don't Be The Friend Who Didn't Make It

In life, it's a blessing to go through your life with your same core of friends that knew you before you fully developed into the current you. With all these graduations occurring from those advancing from Pre-K to those obtaining advanced degrees it makes you wonder which friend didn't make it and stopped before he/she reached their full potential. 

In life, especially in America we all may not have access to the same opportunities, but we all (those without mental/physical limitations) have control over our drive and dedication to accomplishing the unexpected and not falling into a state of complacency. The old cliché of, "birds of a feather flock together" can came off as un-true in a particular circumstance and that's when we examine the friend that didn't make it. 

Their is always at least one friend who settled, and didn't live up to what they could have been. While your friends went to college or followed their dreams in whatever arena they may be in, you settled for the nice 12-15$ hour job, or working multiple jobs in the upwards of 50-70 hours a week. Your financial situation may seem as it's flourishing, but you aren't happy and satisfied where life is going. You're at a job where you don't have much independent flexibility, you're tired constantly, and you don't see much progression, but the friends you've grown up with are starting to graduate, attend graduate schools, and are seeing the dreams that they followed begin to take off.

Look in the mirror then look at your friends from a distance and ask yourself, "how did I become the friend that didn't make it?" Mind you success can equate to monetary value, individual utility, or the number of lives you've motivated to do better. At the end of the day you define success, but a life where you have doubts about missed opportunities is one that can be looked at as wasted. When choosing the people who you allocate your time with you can either pick friends that'll motivate you to do more, or you can choose individuals who do want to amount to much and will make you look better. 

As long as your name isn't on the obituary page you still have a chance to create legacy, opportunity, history not only for others, or your family, but ultimately yourself. When people say your name, your job title, or the number of children you have shouldn't be followed by a period, but a comma. Others should be able to read your resume on the fly, when you make an entrance an introduction shouldn't be needed, because you're already known. While the ones you grew up with are creating legacies for their name and doing what most won't, don't be stuck falling into the hopeless, complacent, and forgotten majority.

Aspire to be better, don't settle for what they will give you, but go after the things that they are reluctant to share. 

A Woman's Life Through Sit-Coms

I'm not sure why, but I have this obsessive issue where I always seem to judge women by characters from the movie Soul Food, or popular black sit-coms. It would be ignorant for me to think I could do a substantial job generalizing women through this forum, but it's only entertainment. 

Claire Huxtable - Is the best of the best. To be compared to her you have to be at least 35. She had the career, but isnt work 12 hours daily. She was a housewife, but she wasnt soley responsibile for cooking, cleaning, and watching the kids. She changed the way a wife is looked at, she changed it to mean oartner. She had the 50/50 relationship with her husband, she upgraded her spouse to be better than expected. She's a woman admired by her peers and those younger, she's accomplished much, but her story is far from finished. 

Denise Huxtable- She's the girl who listens to Badu on the regular and smokes Reggie. She constantly filling your newsfeed with talks of world harmony, finding yourself and loving yourself. She gives off the whole I don't shave vibe. 

Hilary Banks - Is the one who you'll probably never settle down with, or she'll get married to an athlete or rapper, but divorce is in the near future. She's the friend who's bougie in a good way, but may come off as stuck up. She's the friend that never graduated, had so much potential but never made it. She's the trophy girlfriend, but nothing more. She's good for insight on partying and fashion.

Whitley Gilbert - Is the educated version of what Hillary Banks should have been. She's accustomed to everything of high standard. Even though money and monetary don't impress she won't lower her standards to accommodate yours. She puts love over money, but she wants stability. For the driven man who's always looking to excel she's the perfect compliment. 

Maxine (Living Single) she was the feminist that had the sex drive of Wilt. She was pro black and she refused to let anyway diminished who she was. She motivates self conscious women to love them selves first.

Florida Evans - I don't want to categorize her as just a wife, but she makes up a lot of the women in black America. She's not to be degraded, but she's a victim of circumstance and lack of opportunity. She will always be loyal, trustworthy, and submissive to a hardworking man. As a woman she does the necessary to take care of herself and home. If she needs to work 2-3 job she will because quit is not in her vocabulary, but due to circumstance and lack of opportunity she falls into that area of reproduced poverty, but she always wants more and expects differently for her seeds.

Pam (Martin) - she is basically your stereotypical angry black woman. Many will say she suffers from Negro Bed Wench syndrome. No matter what you do she is never satisfied. She wants to the out of town trips, Brazilian weave, and expensive bags. She wants more from a man than she can offer as a woman. She's a class hoodrat, she's the definition of boughetto. 

Terri (Soul Food) - She's basically the one who made it from nothing, but feels the need to let everyone know. She portrays her life to be grand on Instagram, but her life is really in shambles when you see past the fake smiles. She values success in dollars and not happiness. 

Bird (Soul Food) - the one who settled. She could have had better, but decided to live as a U- Haul pulling someone else forward.

Cousin Faith - majority of the people who go to hood clubs weekly just for something to do. People like her have decreased the value of their vagina. Women like her sit on Facebook daily gossiping and looking for an opportunity to turn-up. Her kids see their grandma as more of a motherly figure. 

 

 

Turn Down For What

"Turn-up" Action Verb 1 a: To rise to a level of which you're not accustomed.

For the most part majority of us like to believe that we execute complete free-will over the things that we do and that we aren't influenced by outside factors. Hip-Hop has seem to have taken residence in popular music, on not just a national scale, but a global one. For a genre that is approaching its 40th birthday the movement that I love and many other seems to do as well is refusing to act its age.

This culture has this fixation with living on the edge and doing destructive things to themselves that may intially feel good, but we seem to ignore the thought process of taking the time to think what is good for ourselves. We have conditioned ourselves to be a collective that lives to turn-up on the weekend by partying ourselves to an early demise. We've taken society's predetermined revelation that we aren't destined to live by 25, literally. We don't understand that this whole "live it like your last day," is really bringing us closer to our last day.

This obsession with popping pills, taking excessive amounts of alcohol in short periods of time, syrup sipping and etc is leading to our early demise and like hip-hop is keeping us in a infantile state of mind. As a people we must look in the mirror and tell ourselves that it's time to grow up and starting being adults and treat our bodies with more responsibility. 

Do you really want to be the age of 2 Chainz still sending messages on social media asking where's the drank, pills, and the turn-up spot for the weekend? If you don't know what to turn down for ask your liver, brain, heart, and most importantly your future. We are already losing too many of our people to incarceration, poverty, gang violence, AIDS, and diabetes, lets not add the "Turn-Up" to that list. 

The Art of Settling

Mandatory minimums, how many of us have them, or implement those standards when we decide to distribute our time to others? A lot of us seem to accommodate the standards we set for people just because they seem to provide initial happiness in our lives, but we fail to foresee if they can provide longevity to our lives.

God bless the mother of Smokey Robinson because she told him the art of shopping around,  not just for the best bargain, but for someone who can provide you the greatest value. It's essential that you ask yourself, "what can they do for me?" Attractiveness gets our attention initially, but what are those things that keep us drawn to that person over time? Why are you limiting yourself to something that is substandard when it is placed in comparison to you? If you followed the blueprint of a Clair or Heathcliff why are you settling down with a James or Florida?  

We as a people need to understand that in most cases that if you deal with someone you deem as your equal life will be much more joyous down they road, and it'll be less hectic. If you got your 125 credits and your working on your masters, law/med school, or even chasing that doctorate then you've already establish the lane that your in. Why move out of the fast lane to get off on an exit to someone that's 25 and still living for the weekend, chasing corner bar harlots, or concerned with their side bets that they've place on Maury paternity results. If you and your #him/#her are not pushing you to be a better more well rounded person then you are setting your self up short. No matter the outer appearance and how funny they may come across can you see yourself settling down with someone that only wants to talk about, "partying & fashion?" 

When you've been traveling to different parts of the globe and been cultivated with the knowledge of different cultures why limit yourself to people that only knows about a  Chic-Fil-A that is being built in a nearby suburb. The term dealing with your equals does not mean that they have to meet a minimum income attainment, it refers to someone who has the same aspirations and drive that pushes you forward. They should be able to jump start your battery when your engine dies and keep you moving. Your life should not tell a story of you being a U-Haul moving someone else forward. 

After the first meeting and a few key standards abandoned you may have a smile, but foresee 5, 10, 20 years from now, can you honestly see yourself happy? Don't spend your whole life trying to keep someone happy, look for someone who can consistently keep you looking for ways to improve yourself so you can keep up with them and not bring them to down your level.

Between Heterosexual Privilege And It's Guilt

Heterosexual privilege sounds amazing, but when your heterosexual guilt gets you intoxicated with your feelings and it’s chased with religion then things get difficult. The easiest sin for me not break is not practicing homosexuality.

I feel that’s one of the reasons society can freely discriminates against gays. I feel as though gay discrimination is prevalent because it’s the easiest sin not to break for people. As a society we get so caught up in the theory of "good & bad," that we don't allow for any grey area to deem anything acceptable. I can recall being around 10 years old and my brother told me he had a gay co-worker, I vividly remember asking, "Did they fire her?" He explained that that's against the law, but as a child it seemed as though I was sub-consciously trained to believe that homosexuality was bad and an abomination not only to religion, but also to a stable society in general. Is God’s word to blame for these thoughts, or the religion that man is proselytizing towards us?

I’m notorious for biblical comments of, "I don't know the verse, but I know it's in there." I judge others even though I know it's against God's law, but I do it. I know I sin daily, but knowing the fact that I can repent gives me the thought that it will be forgiven. They say GOD is all knowing and makes no mistakes. Why would he make some gay when the act of homosexuality is supposedly against his word, but make majority of everyone else straight? Like in the book of JOB does he allow this to happen to test their faith? Seriously, if you know something is a sin, but you continually act on it is that sort of like your rebelling against GOD? Since I'm judging does GOD equally look down on me as he would gays?

Can I change my views on a lifestyle that I’m ignorant to? Why does this heterosexual privilege give me the constabulary theological justification to convey to others on how God wants them to act? We have conservatives and religious officials trying to exorcise people over what they feel is a decision. They try to use religion as a divine cure and treatment. So if God make no mistakes then why are we allowing man-made rewiring of God’s work? Why can’t homosexuals being allowed the same human privileges that I enjoy? The government says that they try to separate church from state, but how can one separate his religion from this sin in particular. How can we bridge the gap? Will GOD judge me for being cool with those of different sexual orientations if it’s supposedly against his word? However, the bible tells you to love all your neighbors though. These contradicting messages in a man written book continue to perpetrate these mixed feelings.

The struggle of trying to advocate for a lifestyle that I’m not involved may seem easy for those who are waving the different flags, in the streets marching, and consistently fighting for equality, but for a man that has nothing to gain it’s difficult to find the piece of the puzzle where you fit in. If you ask a majority American they will tell you that they are for equal rights for all, but I feel as though sub-consciously men in particular feel as if they are vocal advocates that they have a fear that gay men will be drawn to them. Rights should be for all people no matter who you are or the practices that you exercise, but you’d be a fool not notice that segregation among people of separate orientation is still segregated to a certain extinct. Is it possible to completely endorse a lifestyle, but still uncomfortable at times be surrounded by it, or even talking about?

Heterosexual privilege is very common even though you may not realize it. I can talk of sexual relations and I won’t be judge for it. The most that people will say is that the place where speaking on it isn’t appropriate. I’m not segregated due to my preference, I won’t get stared at while on dates because me taking a woman out is “normal.” I’m never looked at as the straight guy, I’m judged in my circumstances my character and ethics that I represented. I never have to explain the image in which GOD made me. All that seems well and good until you start feeling like you’re apart of the problem.

When you’re consistently telling yourself that gay equality is an issue that you shouldn’t be involved in because it’s not your struggle when does that make you just as guilty as those people protesting and screaming faggot? I don’t want to be that straight black guy marching surrounded by a bunch of rainbow colored flags. I don’t want to make others uncomfortable. Why should I care about helping gays live in a world that accepts them? It’s not my issue! You get those voices telling you that if you stand up for gays what will others think of you? Nobody wants to be the one suspected as the “closet faggot.” You get that feeling that you are allowing ignorance to roam free because you choose to silent your voice box due to fears of you receiving judgment that millions of others are murdered, are killing themselves, discriminated, and being ridiculed for.

How can I be the black man who fights for freedom of equality for those who share my pigmentation, but refuses to even stand up and say equality should be for all no matter the color or sexual preference? How can I accept gays being looked at in America as the lesser when there was a time when the openly treatment towards gays was openly practiced those who resemble me? Those who sit when the have the option to stand up are no better than the ones who scream “faggot”, “homo’s”, “dyke” etc.

Over the past few years I understand that we all come from the same creator and we all deserve the same chance at the same opportunities. Whenever we crack open room for discrimination in any place then we open the door for discrimination everywhere. No laws can change society’s views only thing that can change the way of the world is us. Once you take away the fear and hate you’d be surprise to find that love is underneath. That holy water that God made us has become poisoned. If we are judged, ridiculed, or accused of being a closet fag then it should give us no worries because equality for all no matter race, gender, sexual orientation are issues that need to be supported by all. Once you understand that aside from the right to walk down the aisle other rights are being violated by denying gays and lesbian’s rights, such as the economic factors such as extra taxes that have to be paid, the denial of tax breaks, and the difficulty of homeownership that can occur due not allowing a union between to prosper. Even this is one of countless number of sins broken daily in the bible sometimes you just put your personal views aside and support for the betterment of society. Isn’t this reason Jesus died anyway, for the sins of his people?

The Weakness in Strength

Since the 60’s leading into the 70’s black households have increasingly been headed by a woman. These women are now taking on the roles of heroes. As heads of these modern households they are wearing hats that they traditionally they shouldn’t fit; holding down a full-time job (sometimes with overtime), bearing the sole responsibility of raising boys to men and girls into women. Not only are these single mothers supposed to be nurturers, but also protectors. A lot of these households are producing daughters who are being put at disadvantage in life, mainly because many aren’t getting a male figure that shows that sensual love for them without expecting anything or much in return for them.



Now that we are in the 21st century a lot of these black women have grown up with the assumption that they have to play a superhero role in society where they have to show their strength all the time and not show any signs of vulnerabilities. Superheroes should only exist in comic books and in movies. By taking on this masculine role you are cheating yourself out of a life normalcy and complete happiness.



By taking on the superhero “I can do it on my own” persona you sacrifice taking care of your own needs. We as a black community have imprisoned many of our sisters into the roles instead of letting them be free to define who they truly can be instead of the traditional single mother of two who has to work 2-3 jobs to keep the lights on. Before we can even look at ways of fixing these roles that we have trapped a lot of these women we have to see those factors that have led to the hardened black feminine figure.



We must ask ourselves why she feels the need to be the strong and put on this mask of a strong heroic woman. Under that mask of strength, fearlessness, and confidence could be a woman that grew up fatherless, one that was raped, abused, or had to be the witness of a mother that abused physically or emotionally by a significant other. A lot of these issues that many women try to hide are usually the determent's factors of their character. Many of are sisters are covered in smiles that conceal broken hearts, fear of failure, and despair.



These strong sisters have to be commended for taking on these responsibility's and possessing superhero powers that most men would likely shy away from. What happens when those strengths become one of your faults and biggest weaknesses? The idea that you have to be strong can alter your pursuit towards a romantic relationship. Lately society has placed this stigma on black men that we are scared of a black woman when in reality it nearly impossible to deal with anyone is afraid of being vulnerable towards you to let you in their life. It’s very problematic and difficult to find woman that can appreciate you doing anything nice for them or showing interest in them with the belief that you have ulterior motives. Too many times black men and women can get along perfectly while we’re lying down, but the moment we are standing a lot of the conflicts of roles battling each other seem to become unbearable. The great power of being a strong black woman when most would expect you to be weak and fold leaves many in isolation. Something as simple as letting someone do something nice for you, pamper or support you can be difficult to submit to.



Even though single mothers have produced a good amount of college graduates, upstanding citizens, and progressed our communities while many were strung out on drugs, walked away, or populated the prison systems it seems that the “the strong black woman” has done more hurt to herself and left her own personal happiness unfilled.

10 Things that Irritate Me

1. It irritates me when I make plans to hang out with ppl and they announce it on social media beforehand. Doing that opens up the invitation for ppl to invite themselves.

2. I hate women that act fake bougie. They put on this sophisticated lifestyle when in actuality they just watch Love & Hip-Hop every Monday while drinking 5$ wine.

3. I hate when girls go natural, but get complacent with their hairstyles instead of being creative. I hate when they settle for that mini fro with a headband at the top.

4. I hate when ppl from a particular social movement die and their family is on the news asking for donations at a local bank, Instead of helping with funeral costs some of those "friends" are concerned about getting shirts made.

5. I'm not here to tell ppl what to do with their income tax money, but I hate when ppl use their refunds on trips to All-Star, Superbowl, CIAA, weekend etc, but their kids don't even have name brand cereal in the house.

6. I hate these "sneaker heads" that live at home and get every hyped release, but their mother has to work overtime just to keep the bills straight.

7. I hate when a girl lets you hit it to early before you can really have a grasp on whether you can build something with her. So while you're in it she has you go a lil deeper and she pulls you closer to get you that hug and kisses your neck, but you don't feel the connection. This results in a one an done and she's puts a negative stigma on you. *The streets know what I'm talking about*

8. First all I'm a product of a single parent household and I thank my mother for what she did, but how society is glamorizing it. Ppl always seem to use the "Barack Obama was a Product" argument, but fail to mention for every Barack their is 1,000 Tyshawns who didn't make it.

9. I hate that these "new niggas" is trying propagate to ppl that it's weak to show women that you love and appreciate them.

10. I hate that you probably don't follow me on twitter and/or Instagram @blove402

Does Hip-Hop Have Moral Obligations?

The power of hip-hop in society is major, the influence they have to transcend the globe is superb. We live in a world where a Lil Wayne song has more access than a book from Cornel West.

Hip-Hop shouldn't bear the responsibility of changing the edification of the world about black culture, but it has moral obligation to the edification of itself internally not to reproduce the struggles and oppressions that they've inherited and transiting it into the future adolescent minds who are consuming their product. Most rappers/singers are promoting saturated realities to people that they most likely don't live and those which can't be obtained by the average person.

We live in a climate where sex sells, but why do we never question, "why does it have to be like that?" Why are black women in America being defined and exploited just for their vagina and things they can get because of it? Why are men defined by their sexual reproduction organs and their wallets? We are teaching adolescent males that they are expected to be surrounded and in relationships with multiple women. The average man cannot substantially afford the lifestyle that are being professed through the media. You have women using their vaginas as a means of crop commercialism.

We have eliminated the male patriarchy of the traditional family structure and transitioned it into males using financial status to place women on auction blocks and using their vagina, breast, and ass as means for commodification. You have prominent female rappers such as Trina saying, "You wanna fuck? 20 G's for the nut," or you have Yo Gotti telling us, "I heard that pussy good and they tipping for it." What message is being delivered? Of course you have rappers/singers such as dead prez, Talib Kweli, India Arie and many others, but do they have global access? No! I'm not saying that we need entertainers to subject their art form to G, PG, and PG-13, but for every 10 songs that takes place in a hotel room or strip club why can't we have a song where you meet a lady after she becomes partner of law firm, gets get Masters, or even as she walks down the aisle to the altar?

We understand that music as an art form is a formed of expression of saturated realities and they have bear no responsibilities to the raising of children, but why is it okay to reproduce negative images repeatedly? Where does the moral obligation to rebuilding communities that raise you come in?

The Mental Health Crisis in the Black Community

Less than two months ago Jovan Belcher, formerly of the Kansas City Chiefs shoots and kills his wife in their home. This occurred shortly before he drives himself to Arrowhead Stadium to kill himself. Through tragedy this distressing event has opened up dialogue among the public about the mental health crisis that seems to plague blacks in America at alarming disproportionate numbers when compared to other members of society.

Blacks make up 12 percent of the nations population, but account for roughly 25 percent of all mental health needs. Research done by Marc Lamont Hill shows that black suicide rates have climbed over 200 percent among black males in the past 30 years, and the depression rate is 50 percent higher for black women when compared to white counterparts. These alarming statistics show no sign of diminishing due to internal struggles among the black community in America.

With many of “us” lacking adequate health insurance, sufficient health facilities, and the fear of going to the doctor those reasons are three of many on why this mental health crisis is starting to become an epidemic amongst our people.

Even though we don’t have many academic accepted studies showing the parallel connection between social misery and mental health amongst our people it would be ludicrous not to see the correlation. When 50 percent of the correctional inmates look like me and I can see myself in the 40 percent of the homeless people outside you can see the relationship between social misery and the black mental crisis. The homelessness and prison demographic not only plague a portion of the black population, but it also isolates them from having access to the adequate mental health services that they will need for treatment. Those two examples may seem like extreme paradigms, but look at the amount of poverty, violence, and single parent households that our children are being exposed to at earlier ages. 25% percent of black youth according Loop 21 are exposed to enough violence to medically qualify them to meet diagnostic criteria for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that are contemporarily associated with soldiers returning home from war.

As stated previously a margin of blacks (25%) are without health insurance in a nation where 16% are without. Many of those who are with insurance due to economical circumstances are the ones mainly accounted for those in the mental health crisis among the black community. According to Dr. Carl Bell (president & CEO of the Community Health Council) the problem isn’t the lack of quality health care professionals, but the access of mental health research amongst poor communities. The politics of the health care profession is becoming a detriment to our people.

Funding for research dealing with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, drug and substance abuse, and other mental illnesses amongst black people are not being researched because the incentive for a large payout isn’t there. So consequently the devotion for understanding these cultural and social issues is being completely ignored. Only 1 out of 3 blacks are getting proper treatment when needed. Many of blacks first access to mental health services are accessed subsequently why they are in correctional facilities. This issue goes back to research done in the 60’s before this current spike of black prison population, where race was eliminated from medical literature. During the 60’s only middle income and upper class individuals benefited from studies that were being funded for research on mental health, which left a large section of the population out of the medical research context. By doing this it further promoted institutionalized racial medical access discrimination amongst many of us. It wasn’t until 40 years later that former Surgeon General Dr. David Satcher released Culture, Race and Ethnicity Culture, Race and Ethnicity: A Supplement to Mental Health; which outlined problems amongst different groups. Still even after just this one piece of publication many questions still are unanswered and many problems still exist. Many blacks are given the run around when it comes to treatment due to lack of insurance coverage and government issued coverage. From lack of modern equipment to just simply going to the wrong places, or the notion of “putting it in God’s hands," many are put at a handicap.

Many people, especially those who deal with depression will simply go to pastors just so they can pray about it. Depending on your beliefs many folks will believe the notion that prayer changes, instead of God will make a way if you put in the work. Too many blacks use faith as a crutch instead of as tool for courage to fight through. It’s always good to pray, but we must still go to mental health specialist instead of just a general practitioner. When incidents most notably as the Tuskegee experiment and the lack of modern care, it’s expected for blacks to be reluctant to visit health care facilities, but we still have to encourage each other to get help.

Even though research has been limited, I feel as though we need to work on concentrating more on prevention to slow down the rising epidemic that the community is facing yearly. With bills of health care reform being passed which now includes access to more mental health care centers in poverty stricken areas, it will help some, but as a nation we still need to change the culture insensitivity that our nation has amongst this issue.