Formulating Her Identity

In the terms of gender identity most experts if you ask them will likely come to a majority consensus that one’s sense of what it is to be a man or woman is determine by society, aside from sex organs, of course. For the purpose of this essay I would like to ask whether black women determine who they are, or do men make that decision, more importantly what is the black mans role in it?

 

When a white man looks in the mirror he sees himself as a human, a white woman, likely will see herself as a woman, a black man will identify with his blackness, but where do black women fall into the archetype of this mirror? What does a black woman identify with, is it their race or their gender and why are their sexuality being primed when we think of them? One of the main issues in resolving these issues is that people are too comfortable with the norm. A black man will likely reference how they treat and view women as them mirroring other societies, but for instance if Martin Luther King, and other leaders let the mirroring of society control the aspirations in life then we wouldn’t have had the Civil Rights Movement. We as a community, male and female, need to understand what is reflecting back to us, and a plan to break that mirror that doesn’t give women a right to choose what roles she identifies with.

 

At early ages black girls are taught that their bodies are their temples and that they must be protected, when we begin to prime a girl’s body this reinforces these stereotypes that a woman’s body are her most important asset going for her. A black woman at a time was only useful for manual house labor and reproduction, now modern day images of Sarah Baartmen have transitioned from pornography to the mainstream with the intent of profit for cooperation’s, while black men are used as pawns to exploit and degrade black and brown women. Like an old saying, women are made to think that their only future is behind them, not in the sense of the past, but in the sense of their gluteus maximus. Even though women essentially have a choice in the matter of whether their bodies will be used as a commodity or something that has no direct correlation of how they will be financially compensated, but a patriarchy governed society in most cases can overpower the desires she wants for herself.

 

The issue isn’t a choice, but the problem lies in the fact that a perception of beauty influences hiring practices and the jobs that are promoted to women that pay substantially more than those in the service sectors. Even though we can look at higher paying careers where a woman’s intellect is more primed even then they are judged on a higher ceiling and have to push through a heavier door. Physical beauty isgood, physical beauty is great, I would never tell a girl to be ashamed of that, nor will I tell her that you should feel guilty of the image that GOD created you in, but when physical beauty is a means and an end of success we then begin to idolatrize the financial and pleasure that a woman’s body can provide which eventually leads us to avoid her intellect. We also see this with of a lot of the women we force girls to look up to. For example when we look at someone that is as beautiful as Gabrielle Union we aware that has been in multiple films and her own series, but we always seem to focus on her beauty, but we almost always disregard the fact that she has a Sociology degree from UNL. When these images are pushed to not only girls, but boys as well then this begins to stunt our growth because even though we may not have a direct connection with these people we’re still looking at them as role models, not for the smarts that they may have, but only their beauty.

 

A lot of these girls grow up without fathers or other male figures in their lives that are accessible to showing them a type of love that isn’t romanticized. Girls growing up need to experience love from a man that is sensual, instead of love that has an expectation when it is given to our young women. Many of us instill in our young ladies that they need to love themselves, I feel as though that isn’t enough. I feel for people to develop healthy social lives they need to know what love is and what it feels like. When a girl isn’t receiving that type of attention from a father figure they may feel as though they aren’t good enough, or worthless. This may begin a process where they feel as though any attention from any guy is sufficient, when at times that attention may be given with ill intentions. We see these scenarios too often in music and film where a black woman’s role is to be over sexualized.

 

Many people might try to counter argue about the notion that we don’t complain when white women are in these realms. To answer those critics I feel it’s important to note that you can go to different arenas and outside of media to see white women in different roles that don’t highlight their sexuality, but channel their smarts and brains. I have no issues with women of color being sexual objects, but when we see a trend of that being the only light we see them in then we must combat this problem. We as men and women have become too comfortable and complacent in seeing women as being sexual beings instead of being free, brave, and fighting these oppressive practices. Of course we shouldn’t deny the beauty on the outside, but what about her soul, heart, and cerebral capacity. For a lot of women they are reduced to confirming to stereotypes to make a substantial living, but instead as a society we need to open up additional avenues of opportunity for women to explore other paths that highlight their analytical ability instead of reducing them video models, strippers, some man’s eye candy, or trophy wife.

 

In this patriarchal society a woman’s body is taught to her to be a temple, but not as something precious instead as a means to an end. However when we send our boys off in the world we at times, jokingly tell them to, “Go out and get up on these hoes,” but telling women that they have to be earned. How can we expect boys to do one thing, but for women to be saints that are pure? We have men that walk around with this sense of entitlement and women being shamed if they feed into what we sell our boys. We are subconsciously elevating our boys into the roles of pimps, one of the most misogynistic people to ever walk earth. By doing that will have made a conscious action to reduce women to being hoes and bitches. We can argue that we didn’t make the rules and that we are just products of the system, but when you choose to promote these gender stereotypes you are still guilty of doing something wrong, you’re just as guilty as the creator of them.  

 

These practices aren’t just in the media and job markets as I stated earlier, but also in the church that women numerically rule. When majority of a congregation is dominated by women have we ever wondered why it most churches it’s almost taboo for them to rule? Of course we can take their money, but in the end we subjugate submissive roles within the arena of a religious institution. This is not only ecclesiastical apartheid, but reinforces classical passive stereotypes and roles that we have placed on them.

 

How can we tell our young girls to go out in the world fearless and to define themselves when we as a society repeatedly devalue them not only in entertainment, but in the home, classroom, and even when they enter the church? How can we tell black girls that they rock when we are limiting the levels of degrees they can rock in? Studies show that most children conform to gender roles as early as 4 years old, but who is at fault? Frederick Douglas once said, “It’s easier to train young boys than to fix broken men.” Let’s make a philosophical shift, if we aren’t fixing the males in our community how can we expect more of our young women?

 

Who really wants to see our young ladies of color excel? Who’s really pushing them to achieve all that is possible without expecting anything in return? When we ask, “Why do you love black women,” does you answer place in a sexual paradigm, or does it articulate her intellect, acuity, and/or strength? We must figure out who is truly the problem, is it the girl dancing on the pole or the men who first proclaimed that a woman’s most precious part is her temple?