One of the greatest tricks the devil ever pulled was having women thinking they didn't need a man to help raise a child.
I remember the day after my birthday I get a text, not phone call, but a simple generic happy birthday text from my dad. This has occurred the last three years making me assume he's forgotten that my birthday is the 27th, not the 28th. What urkes me is that people that have known me less than three years know when my birthday is and don't give me simple generic greetings. I told 'em my actual birthday and he tried pacify the situation by offering Grizzly tickets.
Since he gets season tickets he thought that could erase the anger and pain I was feeling, but my pride would not allow it. I just told him I'm good and that it wasn't needed because now his funds weren't needed and that I can buy tickets to any game I want and damn near sit where I want. The text conversation was getting to the point where he called me.
I made sure he video chatted me so he can see I was on island enjoying life. I don't do things for the reaction, but the pain that was embedded in me just had to let him know that I didn't need him anymore and that I've made it this far and Im doing pretty well for myself. I felt like I had to let him know my momma step up and handled his responsibility even though I know deep down she didn't handle everything.
I made it without a felony, I graduated, and go to college, but it's some things only a man can teach. I never had a father tell me about not putting a razor on my face to avoid that nestle crunch, the proper uses of condoms, the definition of hard honest work, and other things that get overlooked. Fathers need to be a boys first role model, drug dealers & gang members shouldn't be who a child looks at as a positive figure.
A lot women get so caught up in being super mom and think those cs checks are enough that they neglect the psychological toll that is having on the child. I hated going through a childhood where I had to suffer, but I never wanted my mom to feel like she failed. I always wanted her to feel like she was the best and that our family wasn't anything less than the Huxtables. I never wanted to have her feel shame, so I kept all that to myself. To this day I always thank her for those sacrifices, but I think these single parent households are destructive to the black community especially.
I can't speak on women, but sometimes a boy just needs to know he's loved by his father, because its been times I cried in my bed asking why and making excuses that maybe it was my mothers fault he wasn't around. When it wasn't he just wasn't ready, but she had no choice because that's what women are being programmed to do. I love my super momma, but women shouldn't have to be superheroes. A man should never feel its okay to walk away, because those who are admitting that they are worthless anyway.
Ps...If you don't do anything, at least remember your child's birthday.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Relafriendship
"It don't really matter if she look good in your eyesight nothing really matters if she ain't got her mid right"
People who enter your life on more than occasional basis are there to teach you something. Whether its how to be better you, the meaning of life, or just simply how to love...But when you encounter those who teach you all three it keeps you indebted to them.
When it comes to those of non-relation I've notice in my short time on earth it's not many who genuinely care about you, and not what you can do for them. They never ask you for anything but trust. Those type of people make you give them that plus more, monetary or not. What outsiders may believe are the simplest things don't realize they do so much for you.
Whether its providing you with the confidence to go after a new job with career potential, making sure your high lapel suit is fitted on you to perfection. You stay with a fresh lined cut, trimmed face, and no dirt under your finger nails. She turns a tall tee, baggy jeans, ebonics speaking brother into a sophisticated, articulate, intellectual, socially conscious man. I mean she keeps her influence on you, but still makes you feel like your "that nigga."
You get that point where you learn that life is more than about you. It's more about leaving your mark on the world that can't be changed and remembered for years to come long after you're gone. I'm a living witness, not knowing what you want out of life, but meeting someone who inspires you to be better than average, or greater than what's expected. Their are only a few you encounter and those are the one that your soul allows you to love.
That type of love that has you going out your way to much sure they're good. Whether it's making trips to ensure they have their caramel macchiato, sandwich from subway, and meds. Im notorious for stating my appreciation for brazilian weave, curly hair, caramel skin, jay-z loving, degree having women, but a few special ones will make you forget all of that. It's not many that will have you paying attention to random things they say and using that information to do things for them just so you can see them smile. Whether it's a random time you notice their hard drive is full and without telling them you buy a external hard drive. It's just little things like that you pay attention to that you wouldn't do for others.
In the event I do post this many women may "like &/or comment" thinking its referring to them, but when a man cares so much for you that his main concern is making sure you're happy even if it isn't with him speaks volumes on the kind of woman you are.
I've been fortunate to come across 1-2 phenomenal women that I'll always make sure they're good. Anybody can take care of grown man, clean, cook, and cater to a man, but those things can't make you love them. Loving someone for who they are and what represent will always overshadow the love you have for what someone can do.
For the one(s) I've been blessed to meet you already know anytime you need anything I'm forever indebted to you and it's only a phone call.
Just know I Thank You
People who enter your life on more than occasional basis are there to teach you something. Whether its how to be better you, the meaning of life, or just simply how to love...But when you encounter those who teach you all three it keeps you indebted to them.
When it comes to those of non-relation I've notice in my short time on earth it's not many who genuinely care about you, and not what you can do for them. They never ask you for anything but trust. Those type of people make you give them that plus more, monetary or not. What outsiders may believe are the simplest things don't realize they do so much for you.
Whether its providing you with the confidence to go after a new job with career potential, making sure your high lapel suit is fitted on you to perfection. You stay with a fresh lined cut, trimmed face, and no dirt under your finger nails. She turns a tall tee, baggy jeans, ebonics speaking brother into a sophisticated, articulate, intellectual, socially conscious man. I mean she keeps her influence on you, but still makes you feel like your "that nigga."
You get that point where you learn that life is more than about you. It's more about leaving your mark on the world that can't be changed and remembered for years to come long after you're gone. I'm a living witness, not knowing what you want out of life, but meeting someone who inspires you to be better than average, or greater than what's expected. Their are only a few you encounter and those are the one that your soul allows you to love.
That type of love that has you going out your way to much sure they're good. Whether it's making trips to ensure they have their caramel macchiato, sandwich from subway, and meds. Im notorious for stating my appreciation for brazilian weave, curly hair, caramel skin, jay-z loving, degree having women, but a few special ones will make you forget all of that. It's not many that will have you paying attention to random things they say and using that information to do things for them just so you can see them smile. Whether it's a random time you notice their hard drive is full and without telling them you buy a external hard drive. It's just little things like that you pay attention to that you wouldn't do for others.
In the event I do post this many women may "like &/or comment" thinking its referring to them, but when a man cares so much for you that his main concern is making sure you're happy even if it isn't with him speaks volumes on the kind of woman you are.
I've been fortunate to come across 1-2 phenomenal women that I'll always make sure they're good. Anybody can take care of grown man, clean, cook, and cater to a man, but those things can't make you love them. Loving someone for who they are and what represent will always overshadow the love you have for what someone can do.
For the one(s) I've been blessed to meet you already know anytime you need anything I'm forever indebted to you and it's only a phone call.
Just know I Thank You
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Social Media Versus What's Real
"Alotta people fronting they really fitting the bill, there's a very big difference between what's tweeted and what's real"
In this new age of social media all the estimable luxurious aspects of a persons life are posted for the likes, retweets, comments, etc.
Social networks have programmed many to post only things that are moderately true to give off the impression that life is better than what it seems, me included, as I've been recently made aware of. Instagram especially allows you to post portions of truth while leaving much out.
I know personally you can get so excited sitting in the front of the plane, but you forget to tell about the times you sat in the back of the bus on that 12 hour drive to Chicago, or sitting on that MAT bus catching that 18 West hoping you make it to your 5.25 an hour job. That passport book with that stamp is quickly uploaded before those food stamps on #tbt. I've always been taught to never be ashamed where you came from or who you are, because that's what makes you different. I remember my first apartment 7116 Circle #1, I didn't have furniture for like three months, have that mattress sitting on the floor, and that tube tv sitting on my dresser, but thought I was Living Like Kings. You can get so caught up in showing "followers" that your living "The Good Life" that you fail to show those three years in that red & khaki pushing them carts, stocking them shelves, living check to check with a bank account looking quite famished. I'm talking you grown man rationing meals and eating at particular times of the day so your not tempted to eat as often.
Too often we see the pictures of the ciroc bottles in clubs, but not those who are working 60 hours work weeks just to stunt on the weekend. You have the strip club photos with floor paper of George Washington's, but the Internet is unaware of the main chick and child at home needing milk. Foreign (everything but China) clothing, but we aren't made aware of living arrangements. What's a push to start car when you barely get by with the payments and you're paying interest rates out the ass? Us as a people have gotten so caught up in the opinions of others that people spend outrageous money that can't afford to throwaway on minuscule objects just to tweet about or Instagram it.
I'm all for motivating the streets, but just showing the triumph, and ignoring the streets keeps those below unaware of how to appreciate the blessing.
Believe half of what you see, none of what you hear even if its post by me.
In this new age of social media all the estimable luxurious aspects of a persons life are posted for the likes, retweets, comments, etc.
Social networks have programmed many to post only things that are moderately true to give off the impression that life is better than what it seems, me included, as I've been recently made aware of. Instagram especially allows you to post portions of truth while leaving much out.
I know personally you can get so excited sitting in the front of the plane, but you forget to tell about the times you sat in the back of the bus on that 12 hour drive to Chicago, or sitting on that MAT bus catching that 18 West hoping you make it to your 5.25 an hour job. That passport book with that stamp is quickly uploaded before those food stamps on #tbt. I've always been taught to never be ashamed where you came from or who you are, because that's what makes you different. I remember my first apartment 7116 Circle #1, I didn't have furniture for like three months, have that mattress sitting on the floor, and that tube tv sitting on my dresser, but thought I was Living Like Kings. You can get so caught up in showing "followers" that your living "The Good Life" that you fail to show those three years in that red & khaki pushing them carts, stocking them shelves, living check to check with a bank account looking quite famished. I'm talking you grown man rationing meals and eating at particular times of the day so your not tempted to eat as often.
Too often we see the pictures of the ciroc bottles in clubs, but not those who are working 60 hours work weeks just to stunt on the weekend. You have the strip club photos with floor paper of George Washington's, but the Internet is unaware of the main chick and child at home needing milk. Foreign (everything but China) clothing, but we aren't made aware of living arrangements. What's a push to start car when you barely get by with the payments and you're paying interest rates out the ass? Us as a people have gotten so caught up in the opinions of others that people spend outrageous money that can't afford to throwaway on minuscule objects just to tweet about or Instagram it.
I'm all for motivating the streets, but just showing the triumph, and ignoring the streets keeps those below unaware of how to appreciate the blessing.
Believe half of what you see, none of what you hear even if its post by me.
Ratchet Vagina at 4am
I attempted to direct this blog on how SOME women should carry around baby or wet wipes, but I think I will just accept this "L." I'm not sure if this what Juicy J meant, but I think I've found the ratchet vagina.
You ever wanted something so bad, but when you finally get it just leaves you disgusted. I probably should have never answered that 4am text, but I did and I regret it. I think the most high was setting up a testimony for me in the form of a foul smelling vaginal experience.'
I had my usual two Gin & Juices, and shot of patron so I'm feeling myself a little bit, and she comes over here completely gone. So like a typical woman who texts at 4am she's on that "I'm just trying to sleep non-sense." After rubbing on that inner thigh she miraculously proceeds to undress herself. It gets to to the point where her I'm pulling her panties off and it hits mean, I mean it punches me with a haymaker. I mean this was the most foulest, disgusting, unpalatable smell that I've ever encountered on a woman.
It had me feeling some kind of way, shit had me feeling disrespected in my own house. Like I'm unsure how a woman doesn't know whether her box is in order or not. What tripped me was her hinting at me about going face down, like these lips of clay aren't selective. Most men probably have been in this situation, and we all know our options.
We can either hold our breath and go face down, put that rubber on, or pretend like you're having a erectile dysfunction.
Needless to say, I had an erectile dysfunction, but being the good guy that I am I didn't have her drive home, but my ass was staying that room, I slept on my couch and had my alarm clock go off at 8:30 so she knew she had to go. I basically lied and said I had to work.
I don't know if the smell embedded itself on me, or the memory had me feeling like the smell was surrounded by me. I took like 4 showers within an hour before leaving for church. After getting back those sheets she laid on went through two washes because of that woman. I would never wish that experience on anyone, but I know most of us have went through it, but I'm just here to tell y'all my story.
Don't look down on my poor judgement, but just pray I never encounter that foul smelling vaginal experience again.
You ever wanted something so bad, but when you finally get it just leaves you disgusted. I probably should have never answered that 4am text, but I did and I regret it. I think the most high was setting up a testimony for me in the form of a foul smelling vaginal experience.'
I had my usual two Gin & Juices, and shot of patron so I'm feeling myself a little bit, and she comes over here completely gone. So like a typical woman who texts at 4am she's on that "I'm just trying to sleep non-sense." After rubbing on that inner thigh she miraculously proceeds to undress herself. It gets to to the point where her I'm pulling her panties off and it hits mean, I mean it punches me with a haymaker. I mean this was the most foulest, disgusting, unpalatable smell that I've ever encountered on a woman.
It had me feeling some kind of way, shit had me feeling disrespected in my own house. Like I'm unsure how a woman doesn't know whether her box is in order or not. What tripped me was her hinting at me about going face down, like these lips of clay aren't selective. Most men probably have been in this situation, and we all know our options.
We can either hold our breath and go face down, put that rubber on, or pretend like you're having a erectile dysfunction.
Needless to say, I had an erectile dysfunction, but being the good guy that I am I didn't have her drive home, but my ass was staying that room, I slept on my couch and had my alarm clock go off at 8:30 so she knew she had to go. I basically lied and said I had to work.
I don't know if the smell embedded itself on me, or the memory had me feeling like the smell was surrounded by me. I took like 4 showers within an hour before leaving for church. After getting back those sheets she laid on went through two washes because of that woman. I would never wish that experience on anyone, but I know most of us have went through it, but I'm just here to tell y'all my story.
Don't look down on my poor judgement, but just pray I never encounter that foul smelling vaginal experience again.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
FREE LARRY HOOVER
"Wanna condemn them cuz they sell dope, well man show 'em the ropes, be a father, a football coach, a role model or a symbol of hope."
Larry Hoover, many may only know him because of Rick Ross. Well he was more than just a line in a hook of song. He was the leader, head honcho, commander-in-Chief of one the largest black street gangs in America...The Gangsta Disciples.
If you are familiar with either Chief Keef and the 3hunna music movement then you have a clear inclination of what these new age street rap artist from Chicago represent. They constitute the problem of the adolescent black on black genocide that is plaguing the inner city of Chicago's West and Southside (other places also).
I'm not here to argue that Larry Hoover was a good person, but I am here to say that you can't deny his influence. Even as a middle schooler he presented a dream to other troubled youth and they bought it. He sold drugs to his people and played a role in the community, he was responsible for murders, and also robberies. So... why shall we "free" Larry Hoover? We should "free" him because he had that type of charisma and charismatic appeal that made the masses respect, listen, and obey King Larry.
I'm not saying let the Gangsta King Larry out, the same gangsta who used Growth & Development (a non profit charity) as a means to launder drug money, but free what he represented. He was someone that children looked to as a idol and what teens & adults attempted to emulate. You don't necessarily need to free him, but someone who's able to mirror his ascendancy toward the populace.
A lot of these kids aren't really bad, they are just following what they see, because no one is around to lead them. Either gang leaders that once kept their gangs moving like an organized crime mob are incarcerated or they're strung on drugs. You can lead the children by simply being a local sports coach, a father, or anyone that can relate to their day to day struggle but also offer symbols of hope.
Too many times people on outside see senseless killings and worry about guns in the community instead finding out why kids feel the need to have guns in the community, so we deem the youth lost instead if trying to find and bring out the good in them.
We don't want to free Larry Hoover the partial influence of this gang culture, but we just need that spirit to motivate these youth to want more, and to be better.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Exercise Your Right to Read
It's one thing to be registered to vote and black. Mainly because people died, were bitten by dogs, and sprayed by water hoses to get and keep that right. Many times we forget about the right to read, not just to read, but the right of education and being aware.
We get too caught up in getting out the vote, instead of knowing the reasons why we are voting. Are you voting Democrat because that's been the move of the black majority since The New Deal? Or you not voting for Romney because after party realignments the Republican Party has been allegedly associated with discrimination against the poor, disfranchisement of the black vote, or you think Willard will take away your food stamps and your 24 inch wet & wavy weave?
In the words of Waka Flocka "Voting Cool," but what's even cooler is having an understanding of where each candidate stands on the issues and how it will affect you, your family, your community, your nation and more importantly the world.
So your voting for Obama because his believes that investing in teachers and education can to improve our economy, (so that we can hire more talent from here) he wants to focus on more reusable energy to cut down on foreign oil dependence, and he visually promotes a well knit black family, which many sadly are lacking.
I get on my FB or twitter account and people that I'm 99% sure cant tell you about any local election candidates have the audacity to get political for 3 months out of 48 month period and preach about the importance of voting. If your comfortable with 9 bucks an hr, being single with 2 kids, and having a 2pm showing of Maury being the highlight of your day (so you can make side bets on DNA test) what can either candidate do for you? Nothing!
Motivate yourself to be more, than educate yourself on what they can do for you. Too many blacks have been beaten, raped, and lynched for people not to exercise their right to read, know, and obtain knowledge. Voting means nothing if you're doing just so you can tweet about it!
We get too caught up in getting out the vote, instead of knowing the reasons why we are voting. Are you voting Democrat because that's been the move of the black majority since The New Deal? Or you not voting for Romney because after party realignments the Republican Party has been allegedly associated with discrimination against the poor, disfranchisement of the black vote, or you think Willard will take away your food stamps and your 24 inch wet & wavy weave?
In the words of Waka Flocka "Voting Cool," but what's even cooler is having an understanding of where each candidate stands on the issues and how it will affect you, your family, your community, your nation and more importantly the world.
So your voting for Obama because his believes that investing in teachers and education can to improve our economy, (so that we can hire more talent from here) he wants to focus on more reusable energy to cut down on foreign oil dependence, and he visually promotes a well knit black family, which many sadly are lacking.
I get on my FB or twitter account and people that I'm 99% sure cant tell you about any local election candidates have the audacity to get political for 3 months out of 48 month period and preach about the importance of voting. If your comfortable with 9 bucks an hr, being single with 2 kids, and having a 2pm showing of Maury being the highlight of your day (so you can make side bets on DNA test) what can either candidate do for you? Nothing!
Motivate yourself to be more, than educate yourself on what they can do for you. Too many blacks have been beaten, raped, and lynched for people not to exercise their right to read, know, and obtain knowledge. Voting means nothing if you're doing just so you can tweet about it!
Friday, October 12, 2012
I Got That Work
"Too much flossing
Too much Sam Rothstein...When you could look in the mirror like, "There I am"
And still not see, what you've become
I know I'm guilty of it too but, not like them"
During a recent stint of homelessness last week for roughly 9 hours from 2am-11a (I lost my keys and my phone was dead forcing me to sleep in my car in the middle of a on and off again storm) I came in contact with a teacher who came in the form of a homeless man who profess to me how having a job, isn't as important as having place that you go to work daily, after I complained about the potential money from my job that I would be missing out on.
I was confused as to what was the difference, but I think he sensed that. According to him a job is something you have to do for money, but that "work" is a service that you do out of love. He was telling me about how people get so consumed into becoming rich and paid beyond need that they forget about the reasons why they chose a particular career path in the first place.
At times I personally get caught up in allure of "stunting" and forget where I came from. I leave it up to a higher power, I don't know whether its a man, woman, or simply spirit, but they always seem to humble me. I never look at misfortunes when it comes to money, friendships/relationships (business or personal) as bad, but just lessons. Like in the book of Job GOD can and will take you and put you in some shit just to test your faith. Whether its being poor for 18-19 years, or just taking a minor L. Its not only good to come up out of that dirt clean, but it's apart of your "WORK" to cleanse others. I'm not saying go broke for the cause, but don't get to caught up trying to get rich quick and exploiting the poor in the process and be desensitized to those you deem beneath you.
You have teachers like in Chicago this year that went on strike. Many may say for good reason, but when it boils down to it what did you get that teaching certificate for? Was it the pensions, or ensuring that you helped a child find a purpose in life. Do you turn away patients on Medicare because of the pay drop off, or did you become a doctor to help the sick live to see another day painless. Are you making music to share your story in hopes that some can identify with it, or did you come for the groupies, chains and cars. When it gets to the point where you only come for the paycheck, you have to remind yourself what exactly you came for.
I'm realizing this materialistic shit doesn't matter anymore to me. Everyone else can have it I'm done. I'm about getting out this work. Whether its giving new shoes, school supplies, or costs to these kids that's the work GOD put in my heart. They gon' get this work. I know I can't help everyone, but I can make sure a few have Thanksgiving dinner, and Christmas presents, or whatever I can do somebody is going to "get this work."
Whatever you strive for in life whether is making sure you put extra salt on someone's fries or you they get the correct subscription just Make Sure They Get That Work!
Too much Sam Rothstein...When you could look in the mirror like, "There I am"
And still not see, what you've become
I know I'm guilty of it too but, not like them"
During a recent stint of homelessness last week for roughly 9 hours from 2am-11a (I lost my keys and my phone was dead forcing me to sleep in my car in the middle of a on and off again storm) I came in contact with a teacher who came in the form of a homeless man who profess to me how having a job, isn't as important as having place that you go to work daily, after I complained about the potential money from my job that I would be missing out on.
I was confused as to what was the difference, but I think he sensed that. According to him a job is something you have to do for money, but that "work" is a service that you do out of love. He was telling me about how people get so consumed into becoming rich and paid beyond need that they forget about the reasons why they chose a particular career path in the first place.
At times I personally get caught up in allure of "stunting" and forget where I came from. I leave it up to a higher power, I don't know whether its a man, woman, or simply spirit, but they always seem to humble me. I never look at misfortunes when it comes to money, friendships/relationships (business or personal) as bad, but just lessons. Like in the book of Job GOD can and will take you and put you in some shit just to test your faith. Whether its being poor for 18-19 years, or just taking a minor L. Its not only good to come up out of that dirt clean, but it's apart of your "WORK" to cleanse others. I'm not saying go broke for the cause, but don't get to caught up trying to get rich quick and exploiting the poor in the process and be desensitized to those you deem beneath you.
You have teachers like in Chicago this year that went on strike. Many may say for good reason, but when it boils down to it what did you get that teaching certificate for? Was it the pensions, or ensuring that you helped a child find a purpose in life. Do you turn away patients on Medicare because of the pay drop off, or did you become a doctor to help the sick live to see another day painless. Are you making music to share your story in hopes that some can identify with it, or did you come for the groupies, chains and cars. When it gets to the point where you only come for the paycheck, you have to remind yourself what exactly you came for.
I'm realizing this materialistic shit doesn't matter anymore to me. Everyone else can have it I'm done. I'm about getting out this work. Whether its giving new shoes, school supplies, or costs to these kids that's the work GOD put in my heart. They gon' get this work. I know I can't help everyone, but I can make sure a few have Thanksgiving dinner, and Christmas presents, or whatever I can do somebody is going to "get this work."
Whatever you strive for in life whether is making sure you put extra salt on someone's fries or you they get the correct subscription just Make Sure They Get That Work!
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